Day Raves Gave This Single Mom Her Dance Floor Back

Hey, friends, when was the last time you went dancing? Really dancing, wild, without worrying about how it looks or what the kids are doing at home? For most of us it's probably been years, even though we used to rock the dance floor at least once every weekend.

Nadine has always loved going out dancing, too. Then she became a mom and was simply too tired for many, many years. Now she's rediscovered dancing, and her favorite thing is day raves. Here's what she told us:

Dear Nadine, let's go back to your teenage years. Did you go out and party a lot?

That depends on what you mean by "a lot." 😉 I definitely got around. Everything from regular clubs, back when I still used a fake ID, to festivals and nights that didn't end until the next morning, when “the clouds were purple again.”

We could party through two nights in a row back then. If public transit had cooperated on weeknights, probably even more.

What did that give you back then?

Back then it was about belonging. Being cool, meeting new people, meeting boys. But it was also a lot about friendship. Staying out all night with my best friend, having no idea how we'd get home. Walking a few miles home if we had to, laughing until we cried.

When did you stop going out dancing?

When I started working, I still went out every weekend. Once my child was born, that stopped overnight. Years of sleepless nights and exhaustion followed. In that time I never dreamed I'd ever have that much energy again, or be able to stay up that late to go dancing.

I should also say that I was in a relationship where I took on most of the care work, and I didn't have a partner who would have supported me going out. So it didn't even occur to me as a possibility anymore. Going dancing just kind of faded out of my life.

But now you're back on the dance floor. When do you go out?

I've been a single mom for four years now. For the first few years after the breakup, I was still in my shell, as I lovingly call it. And that's when the dancing started again. At first it was only with headphones on in my kitchen, but I felt it again.

Little by little I woke up again, and so did my sense of myself. Now when my kid is at their dad's overnight or over school breaks, I go dancing again. I started out carefully, and now I go more and more often because it gives me so much.

Do you go alone, or do you have friends who come along?

I go dancing alone. Yes, getting over that hurdle at the beginning was hard. What will everyone think? Will it look weird? But absolutely NOT! I go to places where people are so open. At first I stood off to the side and “held on” to a beer bottle. Now I'm right in the middle of it, just me, hands free for dancing and feeling. I meet so many lovely people. Lots of women ask if I'm here alone and whether I want to dance with them. And I decide depending on my mood. Anything goes, nothing's required.

How do you get through the day after?

The day after has changed a lot from how it used to be. I used to be hoarse; now it's my lower back from hours of dancing. What I like best is day raves. They start at 2 p.m. and you dance until 10 p.m. Perfect mom hours, because you hardly feel it the next day. You're not completely wrecked, and you can still get things done. Even then, I've gotten kinder to myself. Things are allowed to sit for a while. It's worth it.

What's different compared to back then?

I drink a lot less, and I definitely have less stamina. But I make better decisions, I know what's good for me and what isn't, and I can judge the consequences better.

I was always afraid that everyone there would be much younger and I'd be the “old lady.” I mostly go to techno and electronic raves, and there are really so many people of all ages. Even some who are older than me. And the best part: lots of women, even on their own, dancing completely free. I love seeing that.

Tell us what raves stir up in you.

A lot. Mostly, they, or really the music, let me feel like myself again. There's only me, the movement, and the music, without any expectation of anything else. That's a little piece of freedom. I always walk out thinking: I don't need anything else, no stupid online dating apps or whatever. This is enough. I recharge there and feel young again and like myself.

Why should all moms go out dancing a lot more?

To get that feeling back for a while: being with yourself. No kid calling, no partner calling, only the music calling, and your body releases happy hormones.