Our 15-Year-Old Has Anorexia and Is Now in a Clinic

Hi, friends, when your child is struggling with a mental illness, it's incredibly hard for a parent to bear. The 15-year-old daughter of one of our readers developed anorexia. At some point she stopped eating almost entirely, and she also developed what was close to an addiction to exercise, which led to inpatient treatment at a clinic. In this interview, her mom tells us how the family got through that time and how her daughter is doing today.

Your 15-year-old daughter has anorexia. How are things right now?

My daughter has now been an inpatient at the clinic for seven weeks. It's a clinic that specializes in eating disorders. She's making good progress there, the kind we could never have achieved at home.

What kind of progress couldn't you have achieved at home?

She's eating more again, and in a more structured way. At first, she had someone supervising her meals at the clinic. She's also talking a lot more, and more openly. She wants to be healthy again. I think that's the most important thing.

Can you say roughly when it started, when her body became something she was preoccupied with?

It started very innocently at the beginning of last year. She wanted to give up sweets, and then it crept further and further. She stopped taking food to school. She only ate three times a day, and everything was calculated.

When did you think: okay, a little of this is normal, but this is turning into something that isn't healthy anymore?

I started paying attention after she hadn't gotten her period for a long time. I made an appointment for her with the OB-GYN. The doctor prescribed birth control pills to bring her period back. That didn't feel right to me, and the pediatrician didn't think it was right either.

How did you approach this with your daughter? Were you able to talk about it?

I talked with her again and again, and I made appointments with the pediatrician and a psychologist. We went every two to three weeks. But none of it helped her. Everything became more compulsive, and on top of that she developed an intense need to keep moving.

When did she admit to herself that she needed help? How was she doing then, what did she look like, how much did she weigh?

That was at the beginning of this year, when she realized she couldn't get out of it on her own anymore. The voice in her head kept getting louder. She was feeling worse and worse, and then there was the constant urge to move, which bordered on an exercise addiction.

She was on a dance team and plays basketball, and we weren't able to take those away from her until shortly before the clinic. At basketball practice, her vision went black. Even then, she would have liked to keep going. When she arrived at the clinic, she weighed only about 95 pounds, and she was pale and seemed apathetic.

And how have you been doing through all of this? Were you ever afraid for her life?

I haven't been doing well, and I still am not. My nervous system is often running on high alert, and I worry a lot. Yes, I was honestly terrified that she might not survive, and it's so awful that you can hardly stand it.

Back to today: What is it like for you as a mom to be walking alongside her now? Do you feel helpless? Do you question yourself? Or do you have great people to turn to, people who can calm you and confirm that there are many different contributing factors that can lead to anorexia?

It was a terrible time before she went into the clinic, because we couldn't reach her and couldn't help her. The good thing was that she wanted to go to the clinic herself and admitted that she needed help. I believe that's the most important thing of all!

What will your next steps be?

She'll stay in the clinic for five more weeks, and hopefully she'll keep stabilizing there. And when she comes home, she'll continue with outpatient therapy here.

What do you wish for all the families who are in a situation similar to yours?

I wish them all a lot of patience as they support their child, and early help from therapists.