My Three Sons Hate School. Is It Them, or the System?

Hi friends, one of our readers is pretty frustrated because her kids have no interest at all in elementary school (or didn't, back then). Are they just unmotivated learners? Or is the system the problem? And how do other parents cope when they work full time and don't know when or how to fit in extra practice with their kids, or whether they even should? She writes:

“I have a question for you. I have three boys, and all of them are extremely unmotivated when it comes to learning. Not dumb, really not at all, just zero motivation. The youngest is 9 now, the middle one is 15, and the oldest is already 22 and in an apprenticeship, which is going well. But with all three of them, it was incredibly hard to get any motivation going, especially in elementary school.

The question I keep coming back to: Is today's school system, including after-school care, even compatible with parents who work? If the kids also have sports or other hobbies in the afternoon, when and how are you supposed to squeeze in time for learning?

Kids who won't learn: How can I help?

I work full time, and the kids are in the all-day after-school program at their school, the OGS. So we just can't manage to go the extra mile in the afternoons and keep reading or doing math on top of everything else. As a mom, I feel like a failure in all of this, because it seems like everyone else is always practicing and studying with their kids. But is that really how it is? Doesn't some of that fall through the cracks in everyday life for other families too?

How do other families handle it? How do they organize themselves? With kids who don't want to read, who couldn't care less about school… who still can't read and write well in third grade. And no reading or spelling disorder. It's just so incredibly frustrating and exhausting. Does anyone have tips?”