The Vacation Our Teens Hated (and Now Call a Top 5 Trip)

Hey, friends. It's been a few years, but there's one vacation our family still talks about a lot. The boys were almost 11, our oldest daughter had just turned 13, so prime teenager territory, and the kids had absolutely ZERO interest in anything. You know the drill, right? Maybe you're going through exactly this, or something close to it, right now?! I feel you.

We'd planned a tour where we'd keep moving from place to place. And not only was THAT NOT A REAL VACATION IF YOU'RE ALWAYS MOVING ON, but there wasn't Wi-Fi everywhere, and it wasn't relaxing anyway, and noooo, there was NO WAY they were coming along into town this afternoon, or to some landmark, or to whatever else we had planned. Just forget it.

Nope, just nope: zero interest on vacation

At some point we honestly thought we'd wandered into the wrong movie. And the feelings that come up are real: We hand you this dream trip and all you do is whine? Fine, then we just won't go on vacation anymore. Yes, we're only human, too. When you shell out a big chunk of cash for something that could be a dream, and everyone's in a bad mood anyway, parents get weird sometimes.

The deal we landed on: the kids come out with us in the morning, and in the afternoon they can lie in their room and stare at their phones. (The boys had only just gotten phones, so that was still a seriously shiny treat for them.) And honestly, how hard is it to not let that kind of thing ruin your mood? To do your own thing. To cut the cord and say: Fine, then I'll just have a nice vacation myself.

Griping now doesn't mean "best trip ever" later

Here's the funniest part: that trip is now in our kids' top 5 of their whole lives! Isn't that nuts?!?! When they said so recently, I was just stunned. Because sure, as exhausting as it was in the moment, all that moving around meant we packed an unbelievable amount into those two weeks.

Despite all the complaining and sibling fights, a lot of it stuck! And now, with a little hindsight, there's even a touch of regret from our teens. Because one of their favorite shows today is set in exactly that place. Because they look at those spots with totally different eyes now. Because they'd make so much more of it today! And still, recognizing a few of the places gives them a feeling of closeness that's pretty special.

Sometimes we pull out the photos from back then, look at those eye rolls and grumpy faces, and can't help but smile. I'm writing this down now because maybe you're thinking right this minute: What did I do to deserve this?! Because your kids seem to be barely tolerating the trip, with zero commitment. And yes, I still feel the pain.

It's okay if it hurts. It does get better!

Phew, we really had to pull ourselves together at times. But with a little distance I can say this: it doesn't mean your kids won't tell you later that the trip was actually pretty awesome. Memory gets to put a glow on things! A bit like the baby years, which, let's be honest, weren't always cute and a piece of cake either (or were they for you?!)

So hang in there! This part changes too, and eventually traveling together feels more like being on the same level, and a lot more appreciative. While you're away, keep reminding yourself that it's YOUR vacation, too, and if you have to, enjoy what the place has to offer separately.

Growing maturity really does make life together easier, and it'll get there 😉 Someday they might even ask you when you're all heading out again together… and then it gets really good, because you can laugh together about the challenges you got through. That's mostly how it is with us now, and we love it…

PS. It just occurred to me that on that very same trip, our suitcases got lost on the flight there, and we traveled the first week without them 😉 The airline let us buy toothbrushes and emergency clothes on their dime. We didn't even have Band-Aids or ointment when one of us got hurt, too. Oh boy. Getting our stuff forwarded to us was tricky because we were moving on every day… but it did work out eventually. Some vacations are just like that.