What I Really Mean When I Say Italy Is Kid-Friendly

Hi friends, yesterday we talked about whether you’re “not kid-friendly” if you just want to eat in peace at a restaurant. That post started with a guest piece from a reader, which was her response to my Insta story after our vacation in Italy. In it, I talked about how different Italians are from us and how much more kid-friendly.

What I do NOT mean by kid-friendly: kids climbing over tables and chairs, kids getting everything they ask for, grown-ups not being able to eat a meal in peace, kids who never have to think about anyone else and don’t know any limits.

What I do mean: that the word “kid-friendly” doesn’t immediately make people think their own peace and quiet might get a little scuffed. That the cashier at the supermarket calls out “Ciao, bello!” when she sees our three-year-old, and lights up when he says ciao back.

That the grandmas in the town square wave back with total enthusiasm when the little one waves. That the woman in the shop stays endlessly patient because our nine-year-old simply cannot decide between the bracelets. That the security staff at the airport compliment our daughter’s beach hair and give every kid a high five after they make it through the checkpoint.

That the man in the car behind us doesn’t honk because my door is still open while I lift the little one into his car seat. That kids can just run around the piazza and play soccer while the grown-ups sit at the restaurant next door. That the waiter shows the kids every fish and crab in the aquarium. That an older man laughs and kicks the ball back from the beach, the one my son had kicked onto his towel.

Kid-friendly: here’s how it felt to us

It’s when you don’t have to keep telling your kids to be quiet, and you can actually feel that kids are seen differently here. When you sense that children are treated as the future and simply as part of society, not as something that has to be invisible and silent.

I noticed so much how this atmosphere helped me recharge. I wasn’t constantly on guard that the kids might bother somebody, and I was less tense. And I’m sure that this relaxation rubs off on the kids, too. I didn’t see a single moment where Italian kids, or any other kids, jumped over tables and chairs in a restaurant. Yes, a glass got knocked over now and then, and yes, a kid cried once in a while. But it was forgotten in a minute, and everybody had a nice day.

I wish we had so much more of this easygoing spirit, and that people would see something wonderful in kids first, instead of immediately branding them as potential troublemakers.