Am I Anti-Kid If I Just Want a Quiet Meal?

Hi, friends! A few days ago we wrote on Instagram about how welcome kids are in Italy, and how unfriendly to kids Germany feels by comparison. Here, when families go out to a restaurant, the first thing that's expected is good behavior. In Italy, the joy over having kids comes first. That's our subjective impression, anyway. One of our readers got to thinking about it, because she also wants to eat in peace but still considers herself kid-friendly. Here are her thoughts.

“I get annoyed when kids don't behave”

When you wrote recently about how unfriendly to kids Germany is, it got me thinking, and I've been turning it over for a long time. I have to admit that in lots of situations I get annoyed by kids, even though I'm a mom of two myself.

AND I'm a special education and elementary school teacher heart and soul, and I love my kids (my own and the ones in my classroom) with all my heart. They're allowed to be loud, quiet, wound up, withdrawn, funny, sad, and angry. People say I'm a very relaxed mom and a wonderful, empathetic teacher.

BUT: I turn 50 this year, and I'm nowhere near as resilient as I used to be. Things get too loud for me quickly (at least outside of school), and I really enjoy simply sitting somewhere and relaxing. So here's where the “unfriendly to kids” part comes in:

It really bothers me when I'm trying to eat breakfast at a hotel and one family's kids are running around yelling “Athlete's foot, poop, athlete's foot!” while the parents calmly scroll on their phones and sip their coffee.

It bothers me when kids at the next table play tag between the tables in a restaurant, almost knock over the waiter, and make my table and my drink wobble.

It bothers me when I'm sitting in a beer garden (an outdoor restaurant with picnic-style tables) with a friend at nine thirty at night, and the toddler at the next table doesn't want to sit quietly in the stroller and screams instead, because he should probably be in his own bed at home…

“I don't see myself as unfriendly to kids”

I don't see myself as unfriendly to kids. I love kids, and I have a lot of understanding for kids, for parents, and for the difficulties that raising children brings. And still, I like to eat breakfast in peace, I like to go to my Italian place and enjoy it in peace, and I like an evening in the beer garden. What you wrote on Instagram got me thinking.

But how do you solve it? When a restaurant says kids aren't allowed in their place, there's an outcry across the country. But shouldn't the waiters also be allowed to say they'd like to do their job in peace, without being afraid of getting run over?

I don't have a solution, and I don't want a social media pile-on about how, as a teacher, I of all people should understand kids. But somehow, I think what I wish for is understanding on both sides… I hope I'm not stepping on anyone's toes.

I just felt the need to shed a little light on the supposedly “unfriendly to kids” side.