Talking Politics With Teens When the World Feels Upside Down

Hi, friends. How do we talk to our kids about politics? How do we explain the state of the world to our teens? How do we describe the fact that millions of people vote for self-absorbed-seeming billionaires with a silverback swagger, men who strike us, at first glance, as arrogant, narcissistic, and shameless?

The other day our kids came home from school and told us that the video of a pie being thrown at Christian Lindner, a well-known German politician, was going viral on TikTok. I asked them right away how they'd feel if somebody threw a pie in my face. After all, I've gotten a little involved in local politics where we live. “Well, that would NOT be okay at all if it happened to you, Mom.” Huh. See? Stuff like that isn't funny, and this proves it.

Talking to Kids About Politics: But How?

At lunch today we wondered what has actually happened in Germany since 2015, when so many people held up welcome signs for those who came here seeking refuge from war. We took in a wonderful family from Afrin, Syria, ourselves back then, and today they've settled into life in Cologne incredibly well. Mom and Dad go to work, the son wants to become a doctor, and the little one already dances at the theater…

And suddenly it's okay to shout “remigration” again (the far-right buzzword for mass deportations)? And that from an openly gay chancellor candidate, Alice Weidel of the far-right AfD, whose party would like families to please go back to being nice and conservative, with a father, a mother, and a child? Whose colleagues print up deportation “tickets” and drop them in the mailboxes of people with immigrant backgrounds?

How do you think that feels for our Syrian friends? Or for our neighbors from Turkey, Afghanistan, or Angola? For all the international youth soccer teams in our local clubs, and for their families?

When my friend Sümy recently wrote the harmless sentence “Our diversity is our strength” under an Instagram reel, this is the reply she got: “Great diversity. I hope your great diversity gets its hands on you at night or on your famly (sic!). A little fun with 13 guys would do you good.”

Would it have helped all those Vladimirs and Donalds and Alices, sprouting like weeds out of the cracks of politics, and all those hate-filled social media commenters, if somebody had hugged them more often as kids? Would they need to blast so much hate out into the world if there had been a little more security and warmth?

What can we do in this new, often undignified culture of debate? And yes, I just described a billionaire as possibly arrogant, with a silverback swagger. That doesn't mean I don't listen, or that I don't keep treating myself to different opinions so I can draw my own conclusions. I also listened to the live talk between the owner of the platform X and the only female candidate for chancellor, and once again I was surprised at how little of what was said I could get behind.

Just yesterday morning I read that, according to an Allensbach study (a well-known German polling institute), 42% of people under 29 and 50% of TikTok users doubt that Russia deliberately spreads fake news on social media. And 25% of the general population believe Covid was brought about on purpose. Among TikTok users it's even 44%. Our kids are on TikTok! We have to talk with them and help them make sense of what they see. The vast majority of political accounts on TikTok are blue, which is the AfD's color!

And yet, my goodness, what an uproar there was when TikTok was suddenly shut off in the US for 12 hours. Some of our kids have friends there right now on exchange programs or as au pairs, and kids today simply spend a lot of time in and with that app. We can't just let that slide.

Recently our boys came home completely blown away because they'd watched the film about the Baader-Meinhof gang in class, the one about the left-wing terrorist group of 1970s Germany. They wanted to know whether Grandpa had taken to the streets back then, and suddenly they were reading every article they could find on the subject. They ask us parents who we vote for and get a kick out of the fact that it's (mostly!) different parties. That's democracy! You can let that sit side by side if the other person has good arguments. They're allowed to know that, they're allowed to learn that, and to form their own picture.

Then our oldest came to us the other day and said that because of the pandemic, her school's educational trip to Auschwitz couldn't happen back then. Could we imagine going there with her, so she could face our own history? Isn't that valuable? So now we're doing it in March, and we'll see it together.

More important than any big family project on politics, though, is probably a halfway decent example. Not sowing hate, but moving through life with kindness, gratitude, and a bet on togetherness. Meeting problems constructively. Building networks instead of working against each other.

Not shutting out people who are weaker, but bringing them along, and making room for people who might not otherwise be heard much. Working actively on improvements instead of getting worked up about what other people do (or fail to do). Starting in our own little world, on our own doorstep, and making the climate better ourselves. Being there and having an open ear, meeting each other at eye level. Being human and caring. I think that's what shapes kids most and has the most effect. What do you think?