My Week of Saying Something Nice to Strangers

Hi, friends! Like every January, my Instagram feed (and the internet in general) was wall-to-wall New Year's resolutions. No alcohol, less sugar, no carbs, or nothing but vegetable juice. More exercise, earlier bedtimes, less screen time, wake up earlier and meditate, 10,000 steps, or 30 minutes of Pilates every single day. Most of these resolutions, I think, boil down to self-improvement and are aimed mostly at ourselves.

Personally, I don't have much patience for them. For one thing, I have zero interest in being strict with myself and giving up things I actually enjoy. For another, my everyday life is already pretty healthy. I move a lot, I don't drink much, and I mostly eat well. If I go through a phase with a little more chocolate, then that's just how it is. My own goal is to be softer with myself and at peace with myself, and the whole self-optimization idea just doesn't fit with that.

When I was talking with Lisa and said that, wow, all of Instagram is doing juice cleanses again and it's just not for me, she came out with this gem: “Me neither. Imagine you get hit by a bus tomorrow and the only thing in your stomach is cold vegetable juice.” We couldn't stop laughing, and agreed that this time of year, when it's cold out, what we need is warm food.

The second reason those resolutions don't do much for me is that they're only about us, and the people around us get nothing out of them. So I decided to try something for one week: every day, say something nice to a stranger, the more of a stranger the better. I'd also noticed that when strangers talk to me, it's almost always something negative. My bike is in the way. My kid is too loud. I'm blocking something with the stroller. I can't remember the last time a stranger said something nice to me out of the blue. So I'll go first. I'm starting on January 1.

For the New Year: Say Something Nice Every Day

WEDNESDAY, January 1

My youngest is obsessed with riding the subway right now. And since I have to get out into the fresh air with him despite my New Year's Eve hangover, I decide on a walk to the subway station and a few rides. He's happy, and I get to sit somewhere warm. As the train pulls in, I remember my resolution, walk up to the driver's cab, and knock on the window. The operator opens the door with a skeptical look. I say, “I just wanted to wish you a happy New Year and say thank you for working on January 1. I'm sure it wasn't easy to get up this morning.” She looks at me, then smiles and says, “Same to you! All the best for 2025!”

THURSDAY, January 2

I'm standing in the checkout line at the grocery store with a really full cart. Behind me is a young guy who just wants to buy a couple of bread rolls and a can of Coke. When he looks into my cart, he can barely hold back a groan. “Do you want to go ahead of me?” I ask. “Seriously?” he says. Me: “Of course. If it makes your day a little better, go right ahead.” He's genuinely happy, thanks me, and is gone.

FRIDAY, January 3

A woman around 60 is riding the escalator in front of me. When we get to the top, I tap her on the shoulder and say, “I just wanted to tell you that your colorful scarf looks fantastic on you!” She looks at me, astonished, and says, “Ohhhhh, you made my day!”

SATURDAY, January 4

I go for a run early in the morning. For about six months now, I've been seeing two men on my route who are carrying quite a bit of extra weight, but who now go power-walking together and keep stopping at a bench to do strength exercises. This time I wave and call out, “I think it's so great that you're doing this together!” They both light up and call back, “That's so sweet, thank you!”

SUNDAY, January 5

I don't remember my resolution until the evening, and there's not a stranger in sight. So I text a friend: “I just wanted to tell you again how much I appreciate you and how much I love having you in my life. I'm so glad we're friends!” I get back a flood of heart emojis.

MONDAY, January 6

I grab a coffee at the bakery. When the woman behind the counter hands it to me, I say, “By the way, I think the coffee here is especially good. Thank you for that.” She looks at me, a little taken aback, and then says, “That's really nice of you to say. Usually everybody's complaining that something's not right or that everything keeps getting more expensive.”

TUESDAY, January 7

Nothing really comes up today, but I still want to say something nice. I'm out for a walk with my youngest when an older woman with a dog comes toward us. I smile at her, she smiles back, and I ask if I can pet her dog. I can, and the two of us chat for a bit about dogs and little kids and how good it is that dogs and little kids get you outside so much. It's only a few minutes, but it's a nice conversation, and when we say goodbye, I get the feeling she enjoyed meeting us.

Some of you may think this sounds cheesy, and maybe someone's thinking, “Well, that's kind of forced nice, so it isn't honest.” Funnily enough, I had those same thoughts, but it's not like that at all. It isn't cheesy. It just feels really good to give a stranger a nice moment.

And if you pay a little attention and let it happen, there really is a chance every single day to give someone a kind word or a smile. Of course that doesn't change the world completely, but I think our everyday lives could use more warmth and softness. Try it yourself. At first it feels kind of “cringe,” but it gets easier every day!

And while I have the space here, I'll take the chance to say something nice to you, too: Thank you for reading along with us. You're such a great community, and Lisa and I have so much fun every day talking with you! We're so glad you're here, and HAPPY 2025!