New Year's Resolutions Are Driving Me Nuts. Make It Stop.

Hi, loves. Did you make any New Year's resolutions? Less wine, more exercise, less time on your phone? I think every one of us has had the thought lately: Okay, I could be a little more mindful about a few things here and there... But our reader Anja is completely fed up with all the over-the-top resolutions and is hoping everyone will calm down soon...

All These Resolutions Are Driving Me Crazy!

"Want to get Italian on Friday?" I texted a friend. "I'd love to, but I'm not eating anything after 5 p.m. for the next three months. So I can't, sorry," she wrote back. I could scream when I read stuff like that. My friend wants Italian food, but she's forbidding herself, because she thinks it makes sense to stop eating at 5 p.m.

Another friend is now a protein junkie and hauls home cottage cheese by the bucketful. She makes everything out of it: pizza, quiche. She eats it straight with a spoon or on rice cakes. "Do you actually like it?" I asked her. "It's okay. But it's a huge source of protein," she said, and then came a half-hour lecture on how important protein is for us.

My coworker doesn't take a lunch break anymore. She'd rather use the time to rack up steps. The 10,000-step challenge, you know? My sister weighs her oats every morning for her muesli, because it's not supposed to be more than 40 grams (about 1.4 ounces), for the calorie deficit. Wherever I look or listen, everybody's busy optimizing themselves.

I like working out too. I don't scarf down a bag of chips every night, and if I feel like I'm sipping my red wine a little too often, I cut back right away. But I also love pasta, and I'll lounge around in sweats for a whole Sunday. It's about healthy balance, right? Anyone who makes pizza (that divine invention!) out of cottage cheese, and not because of an allergy but just because it has fewer calories, is beyond help!

What bugs me is how grim everyone is about it. Does it have something to do with the fact that we're all around forty and have a problem with getting older? Do we really think we have to be as firm as we were at 20? Again: this isn't about eating chips nonstop. It's about getting this: we only have one body, one life. Anything extreme does harm. Enjoyment matters. Being kind to yourself matters. All this restriction, all this self-optimization. Where is it supposed to lead?

Why would we rather be hungry after 5 p.m. than have a fun evening with our girlfriends? Why do almost all resolutions revolve around looks (it's often disguised as "getting fit" now, but mostly it's about losing weight, isn't it)? Why do we hear so little of this: In 2026, I want to laugh more. Or: This year I want to get involved in my community. Or: I want to be a good friend. Or: I'm finally going to sign up for a dance class.

I think our generation is still so stuck in the body-image trauma we all absorbed from the time we were little. And that's just so sad.

The good news is that most of these resolutions are gone by the end of February, and my friends come back out again. All those wonderful, funny women who don't need any of this self-optimization, because they've been great for a long time.