Katharina's 2025: The Year the Perfect Wave Never Came

Hi friends, to get myself in the mood for this post, I reread my 2024 year in review. 2024 was a wishy-washy year. I never got a real feel for it, and it never felt easy. "For 2025, I want more lightness," it says. It also says I hoped to find a big new work project in 2025. Now here I am at the end of December 2025, and I can tell you: a lot of those resolutions didn't happen.

Work in 2025 started as sluggishly as 2024 had ended. Contracts weren't renewed, budgets were cut even further, and for the first time Lisa and I seriously wondered whether this blog could even survive, or whether we should look for regular full-time jobs…

In the fall, Lisa published her book and even landed on the German Spiegel bestseller list. The boost I'd hoped for never showed up. For a long time I felt zero creativity. I was paralyzed and had no idea what to do with myself professionally. By midyear I finally had a good concept in my back pocket and knocked on hundreds of doors, but the answer was always the same: "Great project, but we don't have the money for it." It was exhausting and demoralizing, and I was afraid of fading into irrelevance. I could feel my professional self-worth sinking and sinking and sinking. For the first time, I felt a little pang in my chest whenever other people talked about their career wins.

Then we had to absorb ANOTHER big financial hit, and in the middle of a team call I had a medium-sized breakdown and burst into tears on camera. Very unlike me. It has never happened to me in my entire working life. It must have looked bad, because Lisa ordered me a bouquet of flowers that very second, delivered express. The card said: "This has nothing to do with you. Anyone who gets to work with you is lucky." Phew, so sweet, but I had a hard time believing it…

Year in Review: A Lot of Career Doubt

This year I struggled a lot with work, I cried, and I often felt like I had no direction at all. Patience isn't my strong suit, and I was reminded of that again. Starting in the fall, things slowly began to look up, and we cautiously asked each other, "Maybe we've hit bottom and the worst is behind us?" I now actually have people interested in two new projects. The contracts aren't signed yet, and neither would make me "rich," but I'd learn new things and I'm extremely excited about both. Maybe the year can still end on a better note?

I've really arrived in the middle of life now. I turn 45 in 2026. And for the first time ever, I feel the clock ticking, like my time here is finite. For the first time, I'm realizing that certain things in my life just aren't going to happen, that some trains have left the station. I stand in front of the mirror and see very clearly that I'm not 30 anymore. I listen to my younger colleagues and think, "Wow, I have no clue about any of that."

On the personal side, 2025 was a good year for our immediate family, with no extreme lows (except for a few days in the hospital with pneumonia). Among my family and friends, though, there have been two terrible blows that hit me hard emotionally, and all I can do is hope that I've supported, and am still supporting, the people involved as well as I can.

Of course there were also beautiful moments in 2025. We celebrated Easter with the whole extended family, meaning my four siblings and their families, which was really special. We had a fantastic, totally relaxed summer vacation with friends in Puglia, Italy. My little brother married a wonderful woman. In October I went surfing for five days with my sister in Portugal. It was a dream I'd had for many years, and we finally made it happen. Those were wonderful, intense days, and they're still with me.

Our oldest, my daughter, was confirmed (a Protestant rite of passage in Germany) and is carving out her own path with so much confidence. Our older son was scouted by the German Soccer Federation (the DFB), which was so exciting. Our little daughter dances with a passion, and our youngest settled into daycare and is very happy there. My husband has a great new project, and while so many couples around us are splitting up, we still like each other very much.

I have so much to be grateful for, and I know it. When I fall, I have people who give me a hand up. In 2025, Lisa and I were once again a really good team. We cheered each other on, vented together, and lightened each other's load. When we saw each other in person in November, it hit me again: what we've been doing for 12 years? I'd like to see someone else pull that off.

Every good year in review is supposed to end with a look ahead to the next year. But this year I learned that you can't plan everything. You can set intentions, but in the end a good dose of luck and fate always has a say. And to be completely honest, I'm also a little out of resolutions. I'm simply still looking for my path. And maybe 2025 wasn't so bad after all, because I felt over and over this year that, thankfully, I never walk this path alone.