Dear all, I recently wrote about beauty ideals and how I sometimes get the impression that the self-improvement movement is really very much in the spotlight at the moment. More protein here, even more exercise there, Botox here, microneedling there. I’m not entirely immune to this myself; in fact, I find myself pondering the question: do we want to grow old without any signs of ageing, and how does that affect our children?
Simone then got in touch with us and wrote: I love all of this and I always find room for improvement in myself. We had a chat about beauty ideals:
Dear Simone, let’s talk about beauty ideals. How do you feel about yourself and what do you generally find beautiful?
I’m 45 years old, have four children, and for me personally, there’s always room for improvement. I was a teenager in the 90s and grew up with the beauty ideal of ‘Pamela Anderson’. Nowadays, I like women like Shanna Moakler, she’s an American actress and model.
You say you didn’t have any good role models as a child. Please tell us more.
My mum aged prematurely because of her lifestyle. She smoked, drank alcohol and was always stressed. She always complained that she had no time for herself because of us children and made fun of mums who dressed up or used anti-wrinkle creams. She always used to say: „Once you’re married, there’s no need to make an effort anymore.“
I thought that was strange even as a child. When I asked her about it, she said: „Just wait until you have children. Then you won’t be able to take a shower on your own anymore and you won’t have time to shave your legs either.” Spoiler: I have four children and I still manage to shave my legs!
What do you do yourself to feel beautiful?
I go to the hairdresser regularly, take a shower every morning and put on make-up. I’ve changed my diet over the last six months, lost 10 kilos as a result, and I also exercise regularly.
But you also use Botox and the like. What have you tried so far, and what has appealed to you most?
I have Botox every three months and also have microneedling done regularly. I take collagen and NAD+ every day (Nicotinamide adenine dinucleotide is an essential coenzyme found in every cell that plays a key role in energy metabolism and in repairing damaged DNA).
Skin care is very important to me. I use sun cream every day, a vitamin C serum in the morning, and in the evening I treat my skin with retinol. I always follow that up with a moisturiser.
All these beauty treatments aren’t exactly cheap, are they…
That’s true. To be able to afford all this, I cut back wherever I can…
Is there anything else you’d like to try in that area?
I’d love to have a Moxi laser treatment. CO2 laser is almost too intense for me, or rather, the healing process takes so long. And I’d like to try a lactic acid treatment sometime.
And where do you draw the line when it comes to self-optimisation?
I don’t really have any limits. Personally, I’d have any cosmetic surgery done, but unfortunately my bank balance won’t allow it.
What do you want to set as an example for your children when it comes to beauty ideals?
I want to show my children that they can do whatever they like – whether they find it beautiful or not. So if one of them wants to dye their hair, they should go ahead. If another wants to get their lips done, they should go ahead. And if one of the children says: ‘I want to stay just as I am’ – that’s fine too, of course. It’s about being happy with yourself.
My mum was always unhappy, even though she wouldn’t admit it and blamed us children for it. I, on the other hand, always find something about myself that I can improve and I’m happy with that. I really enjoy doing it, it’s not a burden or anything. I like all these creams and treatments and looking after myself. But if someone has been using nothing but Nivea for 40 years and is happy with that – why not?
