Two Years Old Today: A Letter to My Fourth Baby
Four kids, one tiny boy, and a family that fell for him on day one. What I wrote for my youngest, and what his big siblings told me afterward.
My sweet, big, little 2-year-old, happy happy birthday! I can hardly believe you've been with us for two years already. Two years as the baby of the family, two years of snuggle bug, two years of being our fourth.
My pregnancy with you was totally uncomplicated. I was so scared that I was too old, that my body wouldn't forgive me for doing this again. But while I had awful back pain and sciatica with baby number three, with you I felt great right up to the end. A picture-perfect pregnancy, followed by a fast, powerful birth that was completely on my own terms, at a midwife-led birth center.
You were born in the bathtub, a true water baby, hollered right away, and knew how to latch the very first time. You love cuddling, being close, buttered pretzels, mashed potatoes with spinach, diggers and ambulances, soccer, and slides. You're funny, ridiculously cute, and very brave.
2 Years With Four Kids
You turned our lives upside down all over again. Starting from scratch, changing diapers again, sleepless nights again. Having our time run by someone else's schedule again, giving up freedom again, putting our own needs last again.
But you've brought so much more good into our lives than I could ever write down here. Your siblings worshipped you from second one. Never (!) was anyone annoyed when you cried and I carried you for hours. To this day, nobody holds it against you when we can't do something because you need a nap or because you need more attention than the big kids.
You have three babysitters who build forts for you, play soccer with you, and look at books with you. Sometimes, when you're lying in bed and can't fall asleep yet, you babble your siblings' names nonstop. When they come home from school, you run to meet them, thrilled. When your brother has a soccer game, you sit at the edge of the field and yell GOOOAL!
Honestly, that's probably the biggest surprise: how patiently and lovingly the big ones have welcomed you into their circle. No matter how often the three of them squabble with each other, you always get a free pass. They never hold anything against you.
Growing up in a pack like this, with this much love, has to shape a person for life. I'm sure you'll go out into the world with plenty of confidence and a deep sense of trust. “We really needed you,” your dad often says. And he's so right. It's not always easy with four kids. Sometimes I stand in the middle of the chaos and think: This is all insane. But when you snuggle into my lap, or beam at me because you've learned a new word or hit a new milestone, I know it's worth every bit of the effort.
Over the last two years, I've often noticed who we can really count on, who is truly interested, who really listens, who shows some consideration. That realization was painful at times, but often it was also just lovely, because some friendships have actually grown deeper because of you. There were lots of ups and downs in these two years, but all in all, I can say I truly enjoyed so much of your baby time, simply because I knew I was experiencing it for the last time.
For me, this gang of two girls and two boys, ages 2 to 14, is a blessing. Through you, we get to experience and learn so much. You're all so different, with different hobbies and talents, and that enriches my own life enormously.
Of course, you never know what the future will bring, but I hope the four of you stay this close forever, with lots of consideration and love for each other. You've made all of us grow, especially together. A life without you… unimaginable. From the very beginning, it felt like you had always been here. You were so wanted and longed for.
Happy birthday, you wonderful little boy. Not a day goes by that we aren't happy you're here.
After I wrote this, I asked the three big kids how their lives have changed because of their little brother, and whether we as parents have changed. The unanimous verdict: we're definitely more stressed than we used to be (oops..), but nobody can imagine life without the youngest anymore. They also all said they miss one-on-one time with us. The oldest in particular wishes for more of it.
I totally get that, and I share the wish. My 14-year-old wants the two of us to just wander through a few clothing stores and then have lunch at a nice café. And since that's a wish that's pretty easy to make happen, we've already got a mother-daughter date on the calendar for Saturday!
This story first appeared in German on StadtLandMama.
