Why We Don't Have a Game Console at Our House

Hi, friends! Last year I was chatting with my girlfriends about what their sons wanted for Christmas, and game consoles like the PlayStation and the Switch were at the top of every wish list. My oldest son is almost 12, which puts him right in prime “gaming age,” and of course we've had our share of console debates, and we still do.

Let me say this up front: I'm only telling you about our path. Every family can, and has to, decide for itself how to handle this, because a lot of different factors come into play.

In our house, though, we as parents were very clear, very early, that no game console would be moving in. For one thing, I believe the temptation to play every single day is much greater when a console is right there. For another, I've seen too often that a game console is a big risk for conflict.

When the Kids Beg for a Console

In most families, a console doesn't just get bought on a whim. Usually the kids nag (my sense is that gaming is more of a boy thing…) for quite a while until the parents give the OK. Then come the “contracts” and the rules that every family member signs, so there won't be fights later about too much game time. “The kids know exactly how this works, they all agreed to the rules,” the parents say.

Let me put it this way: I honestly have never met a family where those rules actually get followed. There's always renegotiating, sneaky playing, begging for more time, and a fight when the parents threaten and finally switch the thing off. Without a console, all of that just goes away.

I'd honestly rather have my son play for two hours straight at a buddy's house, get totally woozy from it and have had enough, than have a console here at home tempting him every day. Luckily, my son does a lot of sports, so he probably has less time for gaming than most kids anyway. But of course he feels the pull too, which is totally fine.

What I do find pretty shocking is how many of my kids' acquaintances and classmates sit in front of consoles for practically unlimited time, and on weekends even spend whole nights gaming straight through. Some hardly get together with friends in real life anymore and only see them virtually. That might be fine for young adults, but at ages 10 to 15, I find it pretty extreme.

Call me naive or out of touch, but I try to give my kids as many alternatives to screen time as I can. A trip to the nearest woods, the trampoline park, a family board game, a cozy movie night at home: I find every one of those more worthwhile than hanging in front of a screen.

Like I said: it's only our way, and that doesn't mean other families don't have plenty of good reasons to do it differently. I'm curious: How do you handle it? Do you have game consoles? If so, are there rules? What do they look like, and do your kids actually stick to them? I'd love to hear from you.