I'd Never Go Back to School, But I Miss That Feeling

Hi, you guys. My oldest daughter hates goodbyes. That got especially clear last year when her school days ended and it hit her: I will never again share this much with this many people my age, all in the same place. And she's right.

Our boys are headed out on yet another class trip next week, and I catch myself thinking: Man, I'd love to do one of those again. Somebody else organizes everything, somebody sends around a packing list, and you just climb onto a bus with your bag and your buddies and get driven to a place where a whole program is already waiting for you. What a dream for working parents who are mentally maxed out… right?

Class Trips: Just Hop on the Bus and Go

The only planning you have to do is: Who's secretly smuggling in a sandwich maker in case the food is terrible? Who can we set up with whom? Who's going to pull the biggest stunt this time, and, most importantly, how? That takes strategy. I still remember exactly how, before our sixth-grade trip, we wondered if anyone would dare stick a piece of gum under the door handle of the teachers' room. Hahaha. Yikes.

The amount of nonsense we get up to together at that age, and how it glues you together. We're all in the same boat. And then school ends and everybody scatters. Some people hang around for a while and pick up a job here and there. Others travel the world on a work-and-travel gap year or do a voluntary service year. The first ones move away to study in other cities or other countries, and the friendships fray a little.

And later in life, it just so happens that your best friend doesn't live on your street, or has kids at a totally different time, or is in some other stage of life altogether. New people come along, old ones go, some stay, but only here and there.

Reunions and Alumni Parties

Just yesterday I got invited to an alumni reunion at the school I attended from fifth through ninth grade. Right here in town. I'm going to go, even though I didn't graduate from there. And next year I have my 25-year reunion at my other school, the one that gave me so much. Together with a former classmate, I'm feeling out whether we can pull together an anniversary get-together.

I never want to go back to school. I don't do well with unearned authority, I questioned a lot of what we were taught even back then, and with all the training and continuing education I've done, I can see that I really love learning. I just do it much better as an equal, in a way that's actually fun, and where the material isn't just checked off a curriculum list.

School Days: That "We're All in the Same Boat" Feeling

But that sense of togetherness from back then… The shared goal of finally leaving it all behind and heading out into the world. All those free periods in the park with a huge sound system, the parties, the trips. It was all truly one of a kind and it's unforgettable. At least if you were as lucky with your people as I was.

In Germany, kids can leave school after tenth grade, and we told our boys it's up to them whether they want to leave this summer or not. Huh?! they asked, what else would we do?! And going abroad like their big sister? No thanks, because their lives are just so good right here with their friends. And who am I to butt in, right?

This time is one of a kind and it doesn't come back, and I so want them to get to experience it that way. And of course I'm curious what comes next. Hopefully with way more creative pranks than gum under a door handle like we did back then… and then maybe again later with a few people their own age, which is what our oldest is experiencing in college right now. Although even that is already a lot more individual and thrown together than school was back then. 

How about you? Do you still have a regular crew you take a sort of class trip with, over and over? Or are trips like that a distant memory for you, too? Do you like learning more now than you did back then, because it's your choice and not forced on you? Do you miss that sense of togetherness, or do you enjoy the freedom and variety of grown-up life, where everybody does their own thing and get-togethers just get more and more sporadic?