Your Teen Is Hugging the Toilet After Drinking. Now What?

Okay, moms, I don't know what you got up to as teenagers, but I definitely remember a few parties where somebody (maybe even me) overdid it and woke up the next day wishing for death. But what if it's your own kid? What if your kid is the one hugging the toilet?

If that hasn't happened to you yet (or you just haven't found out about it), I bet even reading that first paragraph and picturing the scene stirred up some feelings. Ugh. That unsupervised world out there can really put the fear of God in you sometimes.

Hangover time: How would you handle it with your own kid?

Do you have an instant gut feeling about how you'd handle it, or are you thinking: OMG, no clue how I'd react? And how did your own parents handle it when they found out about something like this?

The good news first: Gen Z drinks way less than our generation did back then. Binge drinking as a hobby doesn't seem to be as big a thing anymore. My personal impression is also that a lot more protein shakes than premixed cocktails are being sold to teens these days.

Had a little too much to drink? It happens

But what if it does happen to your kid? If they overestimated themselves and end up throwing up? How important is it to you that your kid is honest with you, and does that play a role in how you take care of them?

You know me, and through this column you've gotten a pretty good look at how we handle things with our teens, so I'd like to at least offer you the option of compassion.

If your kid feels awful, if they can barely stay upright, you're allowed to say, totally honestly, “Oh my God, you poor thing,” and things like “When I have a hangover, I honestly want to die, I know that feeling, it will get better, just hang in there.”

If it's not happening all the time, you can go into caretaking mode

And then you're allowed to make a cup of broth, or pick up a Coke and pretzel sticks at the gas station, to show them: Hey, I'm here. You know exactly how dumb it was to drink that much, and now you're paying for it, but I'm with you, and I trust that you'll steer clear of it for a while on your own.

And if your hand is balling into a fist in your pocket right now: All of this applies, of course, when it's the first time! Or when it's very, very rare. Because that's how you show your kid that they can always come to you with anything. And anyone who knows what a puking hangover feels like knows that's punishment enough.

Everything has its limits: Drinking shouldn't become a hobby

IF the drinking, just for the sake of drinking, does become your kid's hobby, then that's obviously a different story, and then it's absolutely fair to have the serious talks about the dangers, if you haven't had them long before. That the brain is still developing, that alcohol can cause damage that can't be undone, and so on.

I assume, though, that you've already covered these topics. That alcohol can lead to addiction, that it's toxic to cells and nerves, that it's very bad for the liver, that it weakens the immune system, that it makes people more willing to take risks and leads to worse sleep, that alcohol poisoning is nothing to joke about, and that if it comes to it, the stomach has to be pumped…

Until then, I simply wish for you that this doesn't happen more than once, and that maybe it just becomes part of growing up, with common sense winning out in the end. Now I'm of course curious what you think: Have you had a situation like this? How did you react? Or how do you think you'd react if it ever happened?