A 13-Year-Old on Her All-Girls School: 'I Don't Miss the Boys'

Hi, friends! Did you know I spent several years at an all-girls school? That was back in my teens, and I definitely found boys interesting, but I never missed having them in class. Honestly, the atmosphere in an all-girls class felt so much more relaxed, because a whole set of issues just disappeared. Nobody was trying to impress the boys, for one.

Mia, the 13-year-old daughter of our reader Anna, goes to an all-girls school too, so we asked mother and daughter what they think of it. Thank you both for talking with us!

Mia, what's the biggest difference for you between an all-girls school and a coed school?

For me, the biggest difference is how close the class is. We have a great community where everyone can be herself. Nobody gets laughed at when she gives a presentation. It's the opposite, people cheer you on. It's the same if you say something wrong or get a bad grade. Nobody boos you.

And it's not just our class, the whole school sticks together. The older girls aren't snobby, they help the younger ones. At the open house, older girls showed me around, and they were super nice and welcoming. They still are. The older girls tutor the younger ones, and it's free! 

How different do you feel in class now?

Very different! In elementary school, I sometimes didn't dare raise my hand if I wasn't 100% sure my answer was right. Now I can raise my hand even when I'm not totally sure, and I don't have to be afraid of saying something wrong. Everything feels friendly and familiar, and the teachers are great too (most of our teachers are women, but we have some great male teachers as well).

Just because our school is a girls' school, though, don't think you get good grades for free. No, you have to work hard for your grades, just like at any other school. It's just that here it's taught in a way that's fun.

A lot of people assume there's way more drama in all-girls classes. What do you think?

Personally, I don't see that at all. In our class everyone is nice and friendly to each other, and I couldn't wish for a better class. Sure, there might be a mean girl in some class somewhere, but that's true everywhere.

Overall, I'd say there's less drama at a girls' school than at a coed school. At my old school, all it took was wearing the "wrong" thing and you got teased. That doesn't happen anymore at all.

Recently a girl from the other class in our grade had a birthday, and even though we don't all know her that well, everybody in the cafeteria suddenly sang Happy Birthday when her two friends asked us to. It wasn't only girls from the younger grades, there were girls from every grade level. That would probably never happen at a coed school.

What are boys your age like?

Since I spend so much time at school, I don't have a lot of contact with boys my age. But I would say boys my age are definitely cheekier and more restless. Not all of them, of course, but on average, more often.

Are there ever times when you "miss" the boys in class?

Honestly, no. Class is calmer, you can concentrate better, and it's easier to understand the material. But that doesn't mean it's strict and quiet and no fun here. Quite the opposite. We have class clowns too, and we have fun, and people goof around sometimes. Just not at someone else's expense.

What's the absolute best thing about an all-girls school for you?

That one's easy. Definitely the community. You feel safe, taken care of, and liked, so you're happy to come every day and you also dare to raise your hand. It's an amazing feeling when the whole school is together in a church for the end-of-year service and you feel like part of a big, close, respectful, loving community.

Anna, why did you choose an all-girls school for your older daughter?

Girls from our neighborhood went to the school, which we found interesting, so we just went to the open house. We were immediately won over by how warm the teachers were with the students, and by how much confidence the girls had when they stood in front of us and showed us their school. The open house, like many of the school's events, is run with a lot of joy and conviction by the students themselves. 

We expected the learning environment to be calmer than at a coed school, and that was quickly confirmed. In her old class, our daughter was fed up with the "group punishments" that kept happening when the class wasn't quiet. She had several very restless boys in class who were also violent on the playground, and she really suffered because of it.

It was also important to us that girls with a scientific bent like our daughter, and her interest in technology, get a lot more support here.

How did the people around you react to the decision?

Very mixed. Some people were just curious, and some had big prejudices ("Oh, so you have something against boys?"). We've also often heard that girls from schools like this can't hold their own later in the real world. I think the opposite is true. I don't know any other school where girls are strengthened so wonderfully as individuals and in their self-confidence.

Girls who want to be admitted to this school have to explain why in a letter. The school wants to be sure the girls really want this kind of school themselves. Our older daughter wanted it badly. Whether our little one will follow, we don't know yet.

What are the students at the school like?

Very diverse. I love seeing that there's no "typical" girl. The girls are so different, so special, in their talents, their attitudes, their style.

Another great thing is that starting in eighth grade, the school offers a business and economics track, which is what my daughter chose. There are lots of different after-school clubs, and the girls get encouragement in many sports (soccer too!).

Has anything about the school or the students totally surprised you?

There are free hygiene products in all the restrooms. For times when the girls don't feel well because of hormones, there's a quiet room where they can retreat. Girls' cycles aren't hidden here, they're accepted, and the girls can go about their day accordingly. What surprises me about the students is how much they enjoy going to school and how natural it is for them. Everyone likes being there.