One Kid Moves Out, and an Exchange Student Moves In

Hi, friends! One kid moves out, the next one moves in 😉 In about a month, we're welcoming an exchange student from Latin America into our family. I grew up with lots and lots of host siblings, but I've never actually been a host mom. So many firsts this year, once again!

„Would anyone host an exchange student?“

When our kids' school asked if anyone might be interested in hosting a ninth grader for one semester, I carried the idea home to the kitchen table. After that, it stayed just an idea in my head, until a week or two later when I emailed the principal's office to say that if nobody else had volunteered, we probably still had room in our hearts and our house.

And so it happened that we got in touch with her family, that we swapped phone numbers, that we dug up photos of ourselves and everyone who belongs to us and mailed them to her with a letter, and then got a sweet note back with pictures from the other side of the world.

An exchange in the darkest time of year

Then the whole family did a Zoom call with her and her family so we could finally see each other live. I already send her pictures on WhatsApp whenever someone here has a birthday or moves out or passes their driver's test (it's a lot around here right now), and the whole time I'm thinking: Oh no, poor thing, she's coming right into our darkest, coldest season!

It's also fascinating, at least for me, to walk through our home with this outside view: "Oh, we can't leave that drawer like that when she comes," and "Ugh, we need to clear up this chaos before she gets here," and will she end up watching Bundesliga (German pro soccer) with us when the extended family gets together?

Our host daughter is 2 years younger than the twins

I'm even factoring her in when I schedule things, because she won't be able to get around on her own and will depend on us for rides. We live way out in the country, pretty much in the middle of nowhere, and we've been thoroughly enjoying the luxury of all our own kids now getting around on their own. So this will be a small adjustment.

And oh, Christmas without her parents. Will she get homesick? I'm especially glad that our daughter went through exactly that on her own exchange. She'll surely be understanding, because she still knows exactly what it was like for her... When I went to Latin America myself at 15, I was gone from January to August, but I was home for the holidays. (The upside: because of our exchange years ago, the two of us both speak Spanish, which might make the start easier, too.)

What can we show her?

These days I drive around and think: Uh-oh, what will someone from far away say about this industrial park...? I walk past our bread slicer or the sandwich maker and wonder whether she'll feel comfortable just making herself something when she's hungry.

Right now we're getting the photos she's sent us printed so she'll feel at home in her room right away (it's the room of our oldest, who just moved out). I wonder what new dynamic this will bring to our immediate family!

I'm also quietly hoping the boys will come along on a family outing now and then when we say: Hey, your host sister absolutely has to see Cologne Cathedral, everybody's coming... 😉

Seeing your own world from the outside

It'll let us see our area and our life together through brand-new eyes. I find it pretty exciting, and at the same time I imagine it will be so enriching, as long as the chemistry is right. And honestly, from everything we've heard from each other so far, I absolutely have that feeling.

We'll definitely take you along for a bit of this new adventure. The house is getting fuller again, things are staying dynamic, and I'm so curious. If you have any tips on what to prepare, or how a host family can make the start easier for a new temporary family member, please leave a comment here. We'd love to hear your tips and swap stories.