A Year After Neele's Death: How Steffi Ewald Is Doing Now

Dear friends, the story of Steffi Ewald and her family has stayed with you and with us for a very long time. Dad Basti and two of their children, Jonas and Neele, had a very rare genetic defect that causes severe cancers at an early age. And in the middle of all that, Mom Steffi had to fight breast cancer herself. Her daughter Lenja, her third child, isn't affected by the genetic defect.

We've published many stories about the family here, and over the years we had to say goodbye to Basti, to Jonas, and most recently to Neele. When Neele died on July 6, 2022, Steffi was pregnant again. She has since given birth to a healthy baby girl.

The first anniversary of Neele's death is coming up. We talked with Steffi about how she, Lenja, the baby, and her new partner are doing. We thank her for her trust and her openness. Dear Steffi, we wish you nothing but the best. Here's what she told us.

Steffi Ewald: How Is She Doing Today?

“My heart is especially heavy these weeks. The anniversary of Neele's death is coming up, and so many memories are coming back. I think about all the last moments we had with Neele. A year ago right now, we went to Hansa-Park, an amusement park in Germany, for the last time (that's where the photo above was taken). We went to the Karl May Festival, an outdoor Wild West theater festival, for the last time. We made one last trip to the Baltic Sea and soaked up the beach and the water.

“Neele was so happy when she found out she was going to be a big sister again. She came with me to most of my OB-GYN appointments. She was the first one to know it would be another girl, and she was over the moon when the due date turned out to be her own birthday. In the end, Neele was the one who picked out her little sister's first romper.

The Baby Is Here, but Neele Is Gone

“Now the baby is here, but Neele is no longer alive. Lenja is a proud big sister, but she misses her big sister Neele terribly. Before she died, Neele wrote in Lenja's friendship book, the kind of keepsake book where kids fill in their favorite things. Lenja looks at those pages every day. They say: ‘What I don't like: cancer, pain’ and ‘My favorite place: home.’

“From the maternity ward where I stayed with the baby, I could look straight into the rooms of the oncology unit, the rooms where we spent so much time over so many years. And I could see the window of the ICU room where Neele died. In the end, she died of sepsis that was caught too late.

A Deep Fear of Losing More Loved Ones

“Since Neele died, I've had panic attacks and a deep fear of losing even more people I love. After all those goodbyes, a therapist actually said to me, ‘Oh, Mrs. Ewald, you're already practiced at losing someone.’ Those words shocked me and hurt me to my core. No, you are never prepared to lose someone you love, and the pain is unbearable every single time.

“Basti, Jonas, and Neele are still very present. Again and again there are moments when we all think of them, and then we laugh or cry together. The other day a song came on in the car that reminded me of the three of them. My partner and I looked at each other, and we both had tears running down our faces. It does me so much good that I'm allowed to talk with him about the past, that he remembers them with me and cries with me.

About Our New Life in a New Place

“We now live in a different house, in a different town. That was the right path for us: leaving our old home so we could make fresh memories somewhere new. Basti, Jonas, and Neele are always with us, in our hearts and in our memories.

“Alongside the deep grief for three people I love, I also feel a lot of gratitude. I have a wonderful new partner I'm happy with, and two healthy kids by my side. But I know that the hole Basti, Jonas, and Neele left behind will be there for the rest of my life.”