My Son Switches Schools This Summer, and I'm a Little Nervous

Hi friends, Berlin is special in a lot of ways, and the clocks here often tick differently than in the rest of Germany's states. Today it's about the fact that kids here don't switch to a new school until after sixth grade. I grew up in Bavaria, where elementary school ran (and still runs) through fourth grade. After that, depending on the teachers' recommendation, a kid went to the college-prep high school or to one of two other, less academic school types.

In Berlin, like I said, elementary school generally goes through sixth grade. Generally, because a few kids do move up to college-prep schools after fourth grade, into so-called fast-track classes for accelerated learners. Those kids stay together there until they take the Abitur, Germany's university-entrance exam (after 12 years of school), so they never mix with the kids who join the college-prep school in seventh grade.

Since my two oldest weren't fast-track candidates, the switch after sixth grade was always on our calendar. In Berlin you then have two options: the college-prep school or the comprehensive school. The difference is that at the college-prep school, kids take the Abi after 12 years, and at the comprehensive school after 13. So the kids at a comprehensive school get more time, and some don't stay through the Abi at all. They leave after tenth grade with a mid-level school-leaving certificate (the MSA).

Switching schools: Which one will it be?

My oldest daughter (ninth grade) is at a comprehensive school and very happy there. My son, who's in sixth grade now, wants to go to a college-prep school, so not the same school as his sister. To apply, kids submit their grade average from the second half of fifth grade and the first half of sixth. The whole deal, really: a grade cutoff, a first, second, and third choice, and the sad fact that it often doesn't end up being your first choice anyway (unless you have a straight 1.0 average, the top score in Germany's grading system, which we do not :-))

That means info nights at secondary schools are happening all over Berlin right now, we're calculating what his grade average will probably be, we have to choose strategically, and all of it feels so different from when I was a kid. (I just went to the high school I could bike to, the one my siblings were already at.)

As unusual as I once found it that Berlin kids stay in elementary school through sixth grade, I like it now. After fourth grade, kids are still pretty little, and moving to a school with so many big kids is a lot. On top of that, I question sorting kids by ability that early. What if a kid just steps on the gas a little later and takes off?

Honestly, I'd have found the switch after fourth grade too early for my kids. With my sixth grader, though, I can tell it's time for a new environment and new stimulation. And still, I'm a little shaky about the transition. So far everything has been pretty sheltered, with homework and tests that were manageable. That's definitely going to change. The pressure goes up, and I often wonder how my son is supposed to handle it all on top of so much sports training in the afternoons.

As so often, Lisa was the one who gave me courage. With her boys the transition didn't go completely smoothly, and they repeated fifth grade at their own request (mostly because of the dreaded early school enrollment, meaning they started school too young), but the switch brought opportunities too. Because every subject at the new school has a different teacher, there's less riding on the relationship between homeroom teacher and student. She also says the teachers at secondary schools are a different breed altogether, and there are more male teachers, which really matters for boys hitting puberty…

From the start, our son was very clear about which school he wants. Grade-wise it'll probably be more of a nail-biter than a sure thing, but we want to give it a shot. And maybe we also have to keep reminding ourselves: very, very, very few things in life can't be changed. If something doesn't work, you find a new path. (Lisa's sons switched schools again in seventh grade, too, and it did them a world of good.)

But here's the other thing: kids grow into their challenges, and I think we've all seen a kid suddenly rise above and beyond when we weren't expecting it at all… So cross your fingers for us that the grades are high enough and we really get the school he wants! And I'm sticking to my point: this much pressure at such a young age feels pretty weird, doesn't it?…