48 Hours, One Kid: Our Only-Child Weekend in Hamburg

Friends, if you have more than one kid, you know how rare it is to get time with just one of them. I mean real "only child" time, where you don't have to split your attention. When our oldest was confirmed in June (in Germany, that's a church coming-of-age ceremony around age 14), we parents decided that her gift wouldn't be a phone or anything else you can hold in your hand. It would be time.

So we just spent a weekend together in Hamburg. Since we didn't have a ton of time (Friday afternoon to Sunday afternoon), I wanted a short trip. From Berlin, where we live, it's about 2 hours and 20 minutes by train, which I thought was perfect. I also lived in Hamburg for many years, so I know my way around. That's a real plus when you only have a couple of days and don't want to spend them figuring out a whole new city.

I didn't book a big itinerary. I thought briefly about seeing a musical one night, but the tickets are really expensive, and I also just didn't want a fixed appointment. We wanted to drift and decide on the spot what we felt like doing.

48 hours with an "only child"

On Friday afternoon, after checking into the hotel, we headed toward the Fischmarkt (the old fish market by the harbor), stopped by our old apartment, had dinner at a pizzeria, and then simply walked along the Elbe.

On Saturday we shopped until lunchtime. After a little midday break, we took the train to the Sternschanze neighborhood, where we wandered some more and watched people from a café. Then we walked over the Reeperbahn to the Landungsbrücken (the harbor piers), because we wanted to check out a beach club there. It was way too crowded for us, though. So after a lovely dinner, we went up to the hotel's rooftop terrace instead and talked over a couple of (non-alcoholic) drinks.

On Sunday morning, we went to the fantastic Titanic exhibit, then explored the HafenCity district and headed back to Berlin. That's the tourist part. In between, of course, there were sooooo many wonderful conversations, strolling hand in hand, fits of giggles, big hugs, just really, really, really great one-on-one time.

It hit me all over again how big my oldest has gotten. How many topics she has an opinion on, and how much fun it is to debate with her. We talked, uninterrupted and for a long time, about school, her friends, and herself, and we set our own pace without having to work around the little ones. It was glorious!

As much as I love our big family, it's just as wonderful to focus completely on one kid. With this many siblings, our kids obviously have to wait their turn more often. They have to share us and wait for a listening ear. We always try to be fair to every child, but in real life that probably doesn't always work out. I talked to my oldest about that, too, and it touched me that for her, the upsides of having lots of siblings outweigh the downsides by a lot.

I know, of course, that being able to afford a weekend like this is an absolute luxury. I don't want anyone to feel pressured to spend a whole weekend alone with one kid. But I do think it matters for kids with siblings to have their parents all to themselves now and then. Going to the movies together or spending an afternoon at the pool is great, too. In a one-on-one situation, you just start talking in a different way, and those conversations are so valuable. We parents have decided we'll try to give each of our kids a little getaway like this, some with Mom, some with Dad.

By the way, when we got off the train in Berlin, the rest of the family was standing there waiting for us. That was a wonderful feeling too, being complete again…