Dear all, today I’ve got a lovely story for you on the topic of mother-and-child health retreats. Perhaps you’re thinking of applying for one and just need a little nudge? If so, you really should read the interview with Annett, as she was able to recharge her batteries so very much during her mother-and-child health retreat.
Dear Annett, you recently went on a health retreat with your youngest daughter. Why did you decide to apply for a health retreat?
My daily life has been very busy for years – three children with hobbies (we live in the countryside, so the children’s hobbies involve quite a bit of driving), a house, a large plot of land, a demanding job, and I look after my grandparents full-time. Both have a care level, and I take care of their shopping, take them to doctor’s appointments, do the laundry and look after practically every aspect of their lives.
As I was brought up with the principle “work before pleasure”, I find it incredibly difficult to take breaks. I want to tick off tasks and problems as quickly as possible – which is why my daily to-do list usually keeps me busy until midnight. Five hours’ sleep over a period of months is really not enough. As a result, I’ve developed symptoms of stress such as a tightness in my chest, headaches, endless tiredness and exhaustion, which didn’t go away even during holidays. I felt like I was being driven. My GP was immediately in favour of applying for a health retreat and then said that we shouldn’t list all the stress factors in the application, otherwise it would sound as though we were exaggerating.
We submitted the application in October; the health insurance approval arrived in November, and after a lot of phone calls and a bit of luck, I managed to secure a last-minute place for January.
You have three children – why didn’t the older ones come along?
My eldest daughter is already 15 and therefore too old for a mother-and-child health retreat. My middle son, aged 11, could have come along and would actually have been well looked after due to a severe allergy that causes constant bouts of pneumonia. However, he didn’t want to miss three weeks of school and sports club, and at that age, everything’s a bit of a drag without your mates anyway. He therefore made a clear decision not to come along. The two older ones were staying with their father at the time – my ex-husband and his family. They’re there on a similar shared-custody arrangement anyway, and in this case for the entire duration of the retreat.
Where exactly did you go for the retreat and what was your aim there?
We were in Graal-Müritz on the Baltic Sea. My personal aim was to find complete peace and quiet, to feel no stress whatsoever for three weeks, and to be able to breathe deeply again without a tight chest. To spend time with my youngest daughter without saying things like “Not now…”, “Maybe later…”, “Hurry up!” I also wanted to get as much exercise as possible in the fresh air.
What was a typical day like for you there?
Depending on when the first therapy session started (the therapy plan included Nordic walking, back exercises, strength training, mindfulness training, group discussions and much more), we were able to sleep until around 7.15 am during the week. Then we had breakfast together – the food was varied and delicious.
Afterwards, I took my daughter to the childcare centre and went to my therapy session. There were days with a full therapy schedule from 9 am to 1.30 pm, but also one day a week that we were supposed to use entirely for ourselves. There was often an hour or so between therapy sessions to spend as we wished – which we spent reading, sleeping, having a chat over coffee, or doing things that did us good at that moment. For example, I often put on my running shoes and went outside.
At 2 pm, I picked my daughter up from childcare. We would either take part in a voluntary activity for parents and children (e.g. hedgehog ball massage, candle making or cooking in the teaching kitchen) or go to the beach, the playground or the woods. We also really enjoyed painting, doing crafts, doing jigsaw puzzles or playing cards without any time pressure. At 5.30 pm we would usually go for dinner and then retire to our room. We got ready for bed together, cuddled and read a story, and by 8 pm my daughter had fallen asleep. At 9 pm I turned off the light too and slept deeply and restfully.
How did your daughter feel there?
For my daughter, the first few days were a great adventure. A new environment, lots of children, a completely different daily routine, and on top of that, childcare provided by people who were strangers at first. She coped brilliantly and my worries beforehand were completely unfounded. Friendships were quickly formed and she looked at the daily activity plan next to the childcare door with great excitement.
As my daughter was a guest child, she didn’t have any specific therapies, but simply took part in the childcare programme – which included highlights such as making friendship bracelets, decorating Baltic Sea bottles, etc. – as well as daily trips to the beach.
At first, she had a bit of trouble keeping track of time – how long are three weeks, when is Dad coming to visit us, when are we going home. We then made a calendar overview and she would cross off the day in the evening. That made everything a bit more tangible. We spent the weekends visiting Karl’s Strawberry Farm, Rostock Zoo or taking a stroll through Warnemünde. My partner – my daughter’s dad – came to visit on the middle weekend. He had a holiday flat just a few streets away from the health resort.
All in all, my daughter thoroughly enjoyed the whole spa stay. So much mummy time! But phone calls with her older siblings were a must too, and in the end she was also very happy when we were reunited as a family.
What was the biggest insight for you during the spa stay?
It was clear to me from the outset that a health retreat couldn’t solve the problems with the people around me or my own issues. Only I can do that. For years, I’ve lacked the time and inner peace to reflect on my life. I was able to do that during the retreat. I also made a conscious effort to spend a lot of time alone, going for walks and thinking – not in a stressed or rushed way – but lovingly and mindfully. It was an intense experience.
I actually needed the first week just to wind down and let go. At night, events that I had repressed a long time ago would sometimes surface in my dreams. I also reflected on such things during my walks in the fresh air, sometimes letting them go or simply shedding a tear that I had held back at the time of the event. Ultimately, I found myself in my purest form, which was incredibly beautiful.
Is there a routine you took away from there that you still do today?
Basically, I’m curious to see how long this feeling of being rested lasts. I’m also much more resilient to stress at the moment. I’m better at setting boundaries, I don’t immediately see everything as a problem, and as a result I’m generally more balanced. Unfortunately, the nights are already far too short again and the days too full. But that’s my life, and I’ve resolved not to get annoyed or upset about it, but to be gentler with myself.
There are always people who speak negatively about such treatments. What do you think is important for a stay to be successful?
Basically, you should find out how big the facility is and what its main areas of focus are. I deliberately chose a small therapy centre to minimise the risk of gastrointestinal illnesses, for example. Also, the more people there are, the higher the noise level in dining and communal areas.
During a treatment programme, you meet people who are all there for a reason. Everyone has their own baggage. Personally, I wasn’t there to make friends, but to find myself again. Our therapy group consisted of 10 people and, naturally, you spend time together, chat over meals and exchange ideas. Nevertheless, I deliberately spent a lot of time on my own and also alone with my daughter.
As for the therapies, everyone arrives in a different physical condition. Whilst some get bored during the exercises, others are completely exhausted. Some are grateful for the experiences or advice shared in group discussions, whilst others feel uncomfortable with them. But here too, you can make personal adjustments and communicate clearly. For example, anyone who found Nordic walking too boring simply went for a run during that time and still received the therapist’s signature. Communication helps.
Can you tell us about a moment from the retreat that made you particularly happy?
By the last week, I had reached a state where I felt rested and refreshed. Out of the blue, a memory of the film “The Glory of Life” came to me. The film depicts the final year of Franz Kafka’s life, during which he meets his great love, Dora – in Graal-Müritz! I was immediately hooked and was determined to use my therapy-free time the next day to follow in Franz Kafka’s footsteps. So I went to the tourist information centre and asked whether the house where Kafka had lived during his stay was still standing.
The house is no longer standing, but a commemorative plaque has been erected and a path has been named after him. I put my plan into action and walked 8 km in Kafka’s footsteps. I was so grateful that I had the time to follow this inner urge, and what’s more, without distractions or stress, knowing that my daughter was being well looked after in the meantime, without a guilty conscience because the housework was left undone or other things needed doing – simply because, in that precious moment, there was nothing else but me in my purest form. It was pure bliss and an incredible feeling that I hope to draw on for a long time to come.
