Mom Panic: The Night My Teen Was Stranded in Another Town

Hi, friends. I barely slept this weekend because I had a classic case of Mom Panic. I was home alone on Saturday night (yes, that happens when your kids are older!). I had no idea where everyone was exactly. I couldn't really fall asleep, but I couldn't really read either, so I scrolled on my phone, dozed off, and at some point thought: Okay, with at least one of my kids, I'd really like to know where they are right now.

Turned out my kid was stranded in another town and actually wanted to come home, but the driver wasn't ready to leave yet. At some point I texted that I was getting in the car to come pick them up. No, no, they'd be leaving any minute. When, exactly? With whom? There's school on Monday. Eventually it trickled out that it would be a full car with a young driver at the wheel, and in my sleepy state, every alarm bell in my head went off.

Mom Panic

No way. A crash just happened right around the corner from us, and four out of five teenagers in the car died. I'd driven past the spot on my way to the riding stable so many times and seen crying teens hugging each other, leaving flowers, stuffed animals, photos, and letters.

Twice I went there myself as a chaperone with teenagers. We talked, we stood together in silence, we shook our heads. I also went to the funeral of one of the young passengers. Friends and family had stamped handprints in the brightest colors on the coffin, plus a bright rainbow. How well you've really processed experiences like that, or haven't, sometimes only shows when you suddenly find yourself in a similar situation and slide into fear.

The end of the story: I was glued to my phone for about an hour and a half, and then I just fell into bed, completely exhausted, once all my babies were finally safe again. There were more sorrys and apologies that night and the next morning, plus explanations of how sensible and careful the driver is and that there was never any danger at any point.

Understanding Each Other

But my kid was understanding and even told me that they knew I'd only reacted that way out of worry, because I just want nothing to happen to them. And that's exactly how it was, and how it is. But there it was again, that sense of losing control that keeps catching up with us once our kids are older, and we parents can really spiral over it, even if we'd normally call ourselves very, very relaxed. I wasn't, in that moment. But I was able to talk it through openly with my kid.

What's It Really About?

I explained why I'd briefly panicked, and I was able to ask that next time, we talk about how they'll get home before the evening gets going. In the end, we fell into each other's arms and promised we'd handle it better next time. And I'm not telling you this as a shining example. I'm telling you because we all have weaker moments and maybe overreact, and what matters then is not heading into resentment but into communication.

So why do we worry in the first place? Love. That's it.

We just don't want anything to happen to them, period. Sometimes we handle that well, and sometimes the control freak in us comes out. It's human. It's parental. And as long as it stays the exception, it's also just: normal. You know the feeling too, right?