Two of My Three Kids Are Away, and the House Is Way Too Quiet
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The fridge door isn't clicking and the laundry pile isn't growing. Two of my three kids are gone, and the quiet is almost eerie.
Friends, it's always the way things pile up all at once. Today our Teen Time column is about a summer youth trip and a book birthday. Two out of my three kids are on vacation—and I'm not. But I did pay for it 😉
It's so quiet here. I miss the click of the fridge door, open-shut, like a reflex, and again, open-shut, over and over, day and night. That sound is usually the soundtrack of my life. The candy drawer stays untouched, and everything in the fridge just stays where it is—like magic.
No more empty salami packages in the deli drawer. The laundry pile stays exactly the size it is instead of growing every day… you don't realize how much of our lives goes to soccer laundry until it stops. Sinks without toothpaste gunk, the bathroom mirror not covered in water spots.
No groaning “I'm hungry,” no door slamming. Instead, my phone buzzes several times a day with a Snap. A Snap of boys jumping off cliffs, a Snap of everyone eating paella, a Snap in the dark in front of palm trees, and every so often an update on how everyone is doing. Where to buy a sheet if you forgot yours, and who gives you a toothbrush when yours gets lost. That kind of thing.
It's so quiet here, did I mention that? Almost eerie. I don't have to cook at set times. Every now and then our daughter appears, groans about her next college exam, and then goes off to prepare for the next one. This week it's four exams in five days, and then, finally, semester break.
And we parents work, and then on the weekend we find ourselves standing there looking at each other: So… what do we do now? Take a walk? How do you even live a life with this much quiet? And here's the best part: as soon as we get used to it, they'll probably all be back standing in the doorway…
“The days are long, but the years are short”
It's all pretty impressive, and it's so cliché to say that it all went by so fast, but the saying “The days are long, but the years are short” is just so true. How long the days used to drag with three little kids. Like chewing gum. Sometimes like the stale kind.
Back then, we were happy at night if everyone had made it through the day more or less unscathed and we didn't have to rescue or look after anybody for a minute. Today we're the ones checking in with them, asking if there's anything we can do from afar. They're fine. They've got their turf, their crew, their closest people with them. And we stand on the sidelines, still hoping, of course, that they'll survive, but with no direct influence over it anymore.
That's an adjustment, and sometimes it drives you crazy with worry and then, again, you're proud. Back then it was a 24/7 job with the little ones, and for many of you reading along, it still is. Even Katharina sometimes can't believe that our boys are suddenly heading off on vacation together, peacefully, when they used to want to knock each other's heads off every single day. Honestly, we can hardly believe it ourselves.
But back to the 24/7 job of parenting little kids… Tomorrow is July 24 again, or 24.7. the way we write dates in Germany, which is 24/7 to us. That's no accident. Six years ago on July 24, the first book Katharina and I wrote together came out: WOW MOM. Der Mama-Mutmacher fürs erste Jahr mit Kind (a pep talk for moms in the first year with a child). It still sells spectacularly well, and we still get love letters from readers who are so moved that they tear up at the table of contents, because we sorted all the chapters by emotion.
Wow, I'm tired. Wow, I'm overwhelmed and bored out of my mind. Wow, I'm in love. We deliberately released the book on July 24, a nod to the 24/7 job that parenthood really is. The cover was designed so you can wipe baby spit-up off it. It's the little details that stay with you.
This book is full of real photos from our family albums, including embarrassing ones, but honest, authentic ones. And what we've noticed is that even six years after it came out, women need an honest reality check, an honest look inside: no Insta filters with always-smiling moms in spotless white T-shirts, but real life. Which is sometimes hard and sometimes soft, sometimes wild and sometimes wonderful.
A Summer Trip and a Book Birthday
We try to keep showing you that, here, every single day. And even though no publisher wants a pep talk for the teen years, here, at least, we do our best to take you along for the tsunami our kids sweep through our lives. We're celebrating the kids on their summer trip, and we're celebrating a book birthday.
And we're so glad about everyone who feels connected to us through the books or this blog, some of you for years. So glad you're here. Make yourselves comfortable and stay a while! And tell us in the comments how long you've been reading and how you found us in the first place…
This story first appeared in German on StadtLandMama.
