Fall Break With Only One of My Three Kids

Hi, friends. By the time you read this, I'll be away with just one of our kids. It's fall break, and the last few weeks of book releases and campaigning were so draining that I told everyone I needed to get out of here, now. But since not everyone could come along, the whole thing feels a little frayed around the edges.

One of our kids is already in college, so their break no longer lines up with their siblings'. The third semester just started, so there's no getting away. Another one simply has other plans and is tied to home. And their dad can't take time off right now, so in the end it was just the two of us. Are we going anyway? You bet!

We're both really excited. We've never done anything like this. And yet, vacations used to mean family time. They were a way to dock back together, to spend intense time with one another one more time, to collect shared memories.

Everything Frays When the Kids Get Bigger

Now everything is fraying a bit. Everyone has their own life, and time together either has to be planned way in advance or it happens completely out of the blue. Like last week, when all the kids happened to be home at the same time and we got to have dinner together. It makes us parents so happy. Aww, that was nice, was our instant reaction.

Or a few days later, when we wanted to watch a movie in the evening and the boys suddenly joined us with so much to talk about that we just turned the TV off. We talked about whether self-tanner is okay to use on your face, about getting rides at night with friends who just turned 18, about majors we'd googled.

About other parents and the rules they set, about the internships that start right after fall break, about small towns that are “totally dead,” about the driver's license test coming up, and about whether anyone can really talk about an end to the war in Gaza. The whole menu of topics. Completely spontaneous and unplanned.

Guilt Rides Along in My Suitcase

And I noticed that I'd really like to take everyone along on this trip. I've packed some guilt in my suitcase again, because I'm “leaving” most of the family at home, when time together is so precious right now. I've barely been home for an evening these last few weeks because there were so many appointments, and what I actually need right now is lots of time with exactly these people, because it does me so much good.

What I would have given back then to go on vacation with just one kid, just to really relax. Back when there was constant sibling fighting here, something was always getting knocked over, and everybody was up at 5:30.

Now all that is behind us. We don't spend that much time together in everyday life anymore, and the little time we do have is totally relaxed, so trips like this hardly happen. For the moment, anyway!

I do believe we'll still manage this much together once all three of them have moved out. Because if one thing connects us, it's curiosity about the world. And what could be nicer down the road than parents saying: Come on, sweethearts, let's go to wherever. Our treat… Right?

That's what I'm counting on. That's what I'm looking forward to. And right now, I'm soaking up every minute with my one kid. Because the guilt did come along for the ride, but I've locked it firmly in the closet, and I'm not opening that door again until we're back…