Dear all, last weekend was a very special one, because my husband and I had a child-free break and spent Friday to Sunday together in a small hotel in Mecklenburg-Western Pomerania. It was our first weekend without the children since August 2024 (here’s the report on our last child-free weekend)
In fact, when we became parents, we made a firm resolution to spend time together regularly. This includes the occasional lunch date or a walk without the children, but also the occasional whole weekend away. When our first daughter was just under a year old, we went away without her for the first time – I found it very hard to let go, but ended up really enjoying it. In the early years, we went away just the two of us once a year, usually on city breaks, because that was exactly what we’d been missing: going for a stroll together, exploring new places, wandering through museums, and winding down in a bar in the evening.
Recently, the gaps between our child-free weekends have grown a bit longer, simply because it’s a whole different ball game leaving two children on their own compared to four. The only person who can make this child-free time possible for us is my own mother. She is 73 years old, still really fit, and having raised five children herself, she knows the hustle and bustle of a large family well. And yet, of course, she is getting older too, and I’m always unsure whether we might be overburdening her. That’s why I’ve always organised plenty of support for her, so she can catch her breath now and then…
So now we’ve had a child-free weekend, and here are my three takeaways from those days:
1. It really is lovely without the kids for a change!
I know it sounds crazy, but I stand by it: as much as I love the gang, it’s also great to have a break just for the two of us. Talking, really talking, without interruptions. Seeing each other as a couple, not as parents – that’s soooooo important. We’re very lucky that, after many years together, we still really love each other and enjoy being together. We’re really good at being just the two of us, and that makes me happy.
2. Being in control of your own life is amazing
Waking up when you wake up, not because a three-year-old has woken you up. Just staying in bed and enjoying the peace and quiet. Having a coffee in bed. Reading the paper at breakfast without worrying that a glass might knock over or whether everyone’s had enough to eat. Going for a walk when you feel like it. Reading, going to the sauna, having dinner without any time pressure. Organising your day exactly as you want, without having to consider the children’s needs. We’re hardly used to that in our busy everyday lives, which makes it all the more lovely to experience it now and then.
3. Time out is a luxury
Not just because, of course, you need someone to look after the children. My mum has to make a special trip from Bavaria, and friends have to take over the runs to hobbies or playdates. Financially too! Travel costs, hotel, eating out. This time we were just 1.5 hours from Berlin because we simply fancied some peace and quiet. And yet the costs and effort really do add up. Not everyone can afford that, I’m aware of that, and for that I’m so grateful that we were able to make it happen.
I’ve also realised that a weekend away together like this is quite different from popping out for an Italian meal as a couple in the evening. You find peace in a different way, can connect with each other differently and switch off in a different way too. I still get that queasy feeling in my stomach when we set off on a weekend like this, but I’ve learnt to let go and trust others. The older ones are big enough to help out properly. The friends are happy to be able to help take the strain off Grandma. And Grandma is delighted to be able to enjoy her grandchildren to the full.
And although we didn’t experience anything “exciting” this time (i.e. we weren’t off exploring a cool city), the weekend was simply perfect. Peaceful, lots of nature, plenty of conversation – and I’ll be living on those memories for a very, very long time.
