Dear friends, do you ever find yourselves looking back on past experiences and thinking: „Did I really do that?“ I often feel that way, and sometimes, looking back, I have to admit that I was more lucky than sensible. There are certain situations I would never put myself in today, simply because I know what can happen.
But when I look back at some things from the past, I realise I was actually quite brave in a positive sense. Eight weeks after my A-levels, I went to Paris on my own to attend a language school, without a mobile phone, without any contact details. I just went there, organised everything on the spot and then had the time of my life (including falling head over heels in love!).
Or, as a young reporter, simply hopping on a plane to Calcutta, including domestic flights within India, all on my own. What a culture shock, but I was determined to tell and write down that story.
I used to be braver than I am today, I have to say that quite clearly. I did lots of work placements, just turned up wherever they were, gave it my all, threw myself into it, and got to know new people quickly. Living here one day, there the next – I didn’t give much thought to what could go wrong.
And I was brave too when I gave up my secure permanent job 13 years ago to go freelance. I started completely from scratch again, put all my eggs in one basket – and did so without much in the way of financial reserves.
And of course, having children is brave too; after all, it changes your whole life – but I’ve noticed, especially recently, that I’m finding it increasingly difficult to step out of my comfort zone. My daily life goes on, sometimes better, sometimes worse, but there are no major surprises at the moment. More and more often, I notice that I avoid things or situations where I’d have to be brave. I quickly come up with a thousand reasons why it won’t work anyway, or convince myself that I don’t actually want to do it. And I realise that things which used to come incredibly easily to me are now harder – simply because I’m out of practice.
Stepping out of my comfort zone
I’ve now started my Pilates training (which really took a lot of effort on my part, because imposter syndrome was so strong). Immediately after the first part of the course, I was asked if I’d like to stand in for a class now and then – in other words, actually teach. At first I was all fired up, then the doubts and the butterflies in my stomach set in, because this situation is definitely outside my comfort zone.
I seriously considered cancelling everything, but then decided to challenge myself. In doing so, I applied strategies that I always use when I find myself in situations that aren’t a walk in the park for me.
- Preparation
The better I know what I’m doing, the more confident I feel. This applies to presentations, speeches or even teaching sessions. I write down exactly what I want to do or say and practise it. The more confident I am, the less likely I am to be thrown off balance by little surprises.
2. Be on time
Or rather, be early. Nothing stresses me out as much as being pressed for time. For all appointments that are important to me, I allow plenty of time. In Berlin, you never know whether a road might suddenly be closed, a new roadworks site has appeared, or the nearest car park is 2 kilometres away. I’d rather sit in the car on my own for a bit or walk a few steps than have to rush to the appointment.
3. Cope with surprises
I often go through what could go wrong and how I’d sort it out quickly. At my Pilates class, for example, I was worried I wouldn’t be able to connect my mobile to the sound system. So, without further ado, I popped my own little music box into my handbag as a stopgap.
4. Worst-case scenario
I ask myself: What’s the worst that could happen? And if it’s not life-threatening, then it’s not really that bad. I always tell myself: „I’m not performing open-heart surgery and I’m not responsible for a rocket launch either.“ If we put our actions and our existence into the right perspective every now and then, it’s a huge relief.
So, do you want to know how my first Pilates class went? I was very nervous, but everything went really well. Partly because I told the participants that it was my first class and that I’d appreciate their understanding if things didn’t go 100 per cent to plan. I think many of them appreciated this openness, and after the class a few women came up to me very kindly and gave me some feedback.
I’ve definitely made a firm resolution to keep challenging myself and to make bolder decisions from time to time. Perhaps you’d like to tell me: what would you like to do that you’ve been lacking the courage to try so far?
