Dear all, for many children, the transition to secondary school is fast approaching (for my son too, by the way; you can read about how things work in Berlin here). Irina’s son Ben has ADHD and has been recommended for a Realschule. However, his preferred school is already full; there are simply too few places for this year group, which has so many children. As a result, Irina’s son will likely have to spend the next few years in a type of school that isn’t suitable for him. As he is a very sensitive child, Irina is very worried:
Dear Irina, you have four children, and your eldest is now due to change schools. Your son has ADS; how long have you known this and how does it affect him at school?
Ben initially went to the local primary school, where Years 1 and 2 are taught together. This caused him great difficulty. He often said he didn’t know which year (1 or 2) was being addressed, which workbook he needed, and his Year 2 mentor, who was supposed to support him, spoke hardly any German. After many sleepless nights, we changed primary schools.
From Year 2 onwards, he attended a single-form primary school and was very lucky to be placed in a class with just 16 children. The year group was so large that two classes were opened at this school for the first time. There, it became apparent that Ben is often daydreaming, struggles to concentrate and does not participate in class discussions.
I noticed this at home too when he was doing his homework. Compared to his siblings, he takes longer, needs more support and his mind is always elsewhere. After a long wait for an appointment with a psychologist, the testing began and in 2024 we received a diagnosis of ADHD.
We resisted medication for a long time, but eventually we reached a point where Ben was just frustrated. The first medication, however, caused sleep disturbances as a side effect; he now tolerates a second medication better. His performance has improved significantly and we have also received positive feedback from the school. He has no ‘4’s’ on his Year 4 report card and is really trying very hard.
Now the transition to secondary school is coming up…
Yes, we’ve given a great deal of thought to which type of school is right for Ben. We didn’t see him fitting into a system as large as a comprehensive school, as he often needs a bit more guidance and support due to his ADHD.
The secondary school here in our town is the ‘smallest’ school and is 3 km away from us. Ben has also received a recommendation for the secondary school from his teacher, so we went to the school in February for an enrolment interview. The headteacher had a detailed, half-hour conversation with us and Ben. He immediately noticed that Ben seemed to find it a bit difficult to concentrate. He said that Ben would be in good hands at the school and we left the meeting feeling very positive.
Last week, we received a call from the headteacher saying that Ben would not be getting a place at his school – nor would 54 other children. He went on to mention, however, that there is compulsory education and that we would have to sort it out. For Ben and us, our world briefly came crashing down at that point. We hadn’t expected a rejection at all.
Have you looked at other schools and asked about a place yet?
During the open days, we visited all the schools in the area, except for one that Ben absolutely did not want to go to. After the rejection, I phoned all the schools and was told nothing but: „Sorry, we’re full.“ So I drove from school to school with the documents and the rejection letter. Some staff on site barely let me finish speaking; other headteachers took the time to speak to me politely, but gave me no hope.
So I then drove to that one school which Ben really didn’t want to go to under any circumstances. Here, I was offered another enrolment interview and asked to bring the relevant documents and my son along. We attended this appointment today with a heavy heart. At the school, we sat amongst many children who had been rejected from grammar school even with straight As…
How does it feel for you as parents that your child cannot attend the school of your choice, which would be the best for him?
It is heartbreaking that chance is deciding our child’s future here. We are sad.
How is your son coping with this at the moment?
Ben feels rejected. He takes comfort in the fact that he isn’t the only child from his class. Out of a total of 16 pupils in his class, 5 did not get a place at their preferred school.
And what happens next? Who decides where your son will go?
At the moment, we have no choice but the six-form comprehensive school. During the enrolment interview, we were presented with a form for me to sign. It stated that if we didn’t get a place at this school, we would have to choose whether we wanted to go to the other comprehensive school (yes, but that option was crossed out as the school is full) or have our documents returned.
The lottery has decided that our son cannot attend his preferred school; capacity will determine where he goes next.
How do you generally feel about the German school system?
I am a primary school teacher myself. I would prefer a system like the one in America. Everyone goes to high school. I find this early classification based on grades inappropriate. Grades are snapshots and say nothing about the child themselves. Overall, I feel that the German school system is making people ill. And that includes children, parents and teachers.
