Dear ones, the fate of Steffi Ewald and her family has touched you and us deeply for a long time. Dad Basti and two children, Jonas and Neele, had a very rare genetic defect that leads to early and severe cancer. Mum Steffi also had to fight breast cancer in the middle of this difficult time. Daughter Lenja, her third child, is not affected by the genetic defect.
We have already published many reports about the family here and have had to say goodbye to dad Basti, son Jonas and most recently Neele over the years. When Neele died on 6 July 2022, Steffi was pregnant again and has since given birth to a healthy baby girl.
Now it’s the first anniversary of Neele’s death, we spoke to Steffi about how she, Lenja, the baby and her new partner are doing. We thank her for her trust and openness. We wish you, dear Steffi, all the best. This is what she told us.
Steffi Ewald: How is she doing today?
„My heart is particularly heavy again these weeks. It will soon be the anniversary of Neele’s death and so many memories come flooding back. I think of all the last moments we had with Neele. A year ago now was the last time we went to Hansa Park (where the photo above was taken), the last time we went to the Karl May Festival. The last time we were at the Baltic Sea, enjoying the beach and the sea.
Neele was so happy when she found out that she was going to be a big sister again. She accompanied me to most of the gynaecological appointments. She was the first to know that it was going to be a girl and her joy was huge when her own birthday was announced as the due date. Neele finally picked out the first onesie for her little sister.
Now the baby is born, but Neele is no longer alive
Now the baby is born, but Neele is no longer alive. Lenja is now a proud big sister, but she misses her big sister Neele very much. Before she died, Neele wrote in Lenja’s friend book. Lenja looks at these pages every day. It says: „What I don’t like: cancer, pain“ and „My favourite place: at home.“
From the labour ward where I was lying with the baby, I could look straight into the oncology rooms – the rooms we had been in so often for so many years. And I could look out of the window of the room in the intensive care unit where Neele died. She eventually died of sepsis, which was recognised too late.
Great fear of losing even more loved ones
Since Neele’s death, I have had panic attacks and great fears of losing more loved ones. After all the goodbyes, a therapist actually said to me: „Oh, Mrs Ewald, you’re already practised at losing someone.“ I was deeply shocked and affected by these words. No, you are never prepared for the loss of loved ones and the pain is almost unbearable every time.
Basti, Jonas and Neele are still very present. There are always situations where we all think of them and then laugh or cry together. The other day, a song was playing in the car that reminded me of the three of them. My partner and I looked at each other and we were both in tears. It’s so good for me that I can talk to him about the past, that he remembers it with me and cries with me.
Our new life in a different place
We now live in a different house, in a different place. That was the right way for us: leaving our old home to make fresh memories in a new place. Basti, Jonas and Neele are always in our hearts and in our memories.
In addition to the great sadness for three loved ones, I also feel a great sense of gratitude. I have a wonderful new partner with whom I am happy and two healthy children on my hands. But I know that the gap left by Basti, Jonas and Neele will remain with me for the rest of my life.
