Dear ones, our Berlin friend Nina Müller-Peltzer worked for a long time in television and later in marketing, then had two children and now works without a boss and in freedom as a psychological coach (PCA®) in Berlin and remotely. Feel free to visit her on her website to get even more input or to get one of the coveted appointments, she will now give us little impulses for everyday life here from time to time…here comes the first one:
Ah, what good times those were. Turning night into day, starting the day in the afternoon, red wine in the shared kitchen, dancing the night away, flirting with Paul and having sex with Robbie, and brunching until 5pm every weekend… At 25, life was still simple. Right?
Of course, we had a lot of freedom, fewer obligations, no ties. But we also never had any money and no idea. We had no idea whether this was the right degree programme, whether we would ever start a family, whether Robbie was good for anything more than hot nights out. We didn’t know who we were or what we were capable of. The future sounded far away and was often scary. We might have had a big mouth, but if someone looked at us the wrong way, we had no self-confidence. We thought we were grown up. Today we laugh about it.
Today, freedom is something else for us. A Saturday without deadlines. Doing a job that we can do. The serenity of no longer having to prove anything to anyone. No longer having to flirt. No longer having to be convincing.
Of course, Thailand was nice, but the Allgäu also has its charms. The bucket list has become shorter and so have the to-do lists – and suddenly there it is, the new life: calmer, clearer, more genuine, bigger.
The pressure has gone and an inner calm and serenity is spreading.
Now we know who we are. And who we are not. What we want and what we’d rather not do. We no longer need to prove anything to ourselves. We know what we can do. And the best thing about it: when security is no longer a goal, there is room for meaning.</p
Now begins the exciting phase of self-realisation without the obligation to perform. It is the moment when external recognition becomes less important and inner freedom becomes the new currency. The only person we need to impress now is ourselves.
With our newfound freedom comes only one obligation: to shape it. Freedom needs direction, otherwise it becomes a vacuum.
A vacuum is created when energy cannot find a channel. When we stop functioning for others but don’t yet know what we ourselves are burning for. It feels like life stands still for a moment. Not because nothing is happening, but because we haven’t yet decided where the movement can go.
Unrest can quickly arise in this emptiness: We doubt whether we are doing too little, whether we are missing something, or whether „that’s all there is now“. This pause is not a sign of standstill, but of transition. However, if it is not filled, the energy turns into restlessness and nervousness.
This is why it is so important not only to have freedom, but to live it – with small decisions that give direction. Every conscious step, every new experience, every curious „Why not?“ fills the vacuum with meaning.
My mini-coaching helps you take the first steps towards new freedom and shape them in such a way that the new you feels comfortable and self-determined.
Mini-Coaching: „Shape your freedom“
Photo: pixabay
- Inventory:
Make two columns: What do I do because I want to and What do I do because I have always done it.
Anything that ends up in the second column may be critically reviewed and deleted if necessary. - Energy check:
Which of your routines give you energy and which ones rob you of it? Consciously replace one of the latter with a completely new one. Don’t be too strict, if the new one doesn’t work either, it too can soon be replaced. This is the freedom to recognise when something is not meant for you. - Freedom statement:
Complete the sentence: Freedom for me means… – and write it down somewhere visible. The more additions, the better!
Freedom is not a state, but an attitude. And it always starts with you.
How are you feeling now? What does freedom mean to you? What freedoms do you enjoy today that you didn’t know when you were 25 years old? What other topics are on your mind, share them with us and we will address them in the next coaching impulses.
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