Dear all, February is just around the corner here in the Rhineland, which means it’s time to talk about teenagers and carnival, because once they reach a certain age, they want to go out and celebrate on their own. And that’s not so easy for parents, as I know from my own experience!
When you know they’re out and about on the crowded ZĂ¼lpicher StraĂŸe and you wonder what would happen there in the event of a stampede, when you explain that everyone should stay together and look out for each other, when you tell them about the Edelgard Mobil, which women can turn to after sexual assaults.
If you explain again that no one has to drink shots because of peer pressure, that the network is often overloaded due to the large number of people and that a meeting point should therefore be agreed in advance, in case someone gets lost, if you point out the Red Cross tents where help is available if someone feels unwell, if you point out the water dispensers that are set up there for the revellers, and if you discuss again that everyone should leave immediately as soon as the atmosphere becomes aggressive.
I love Carnival, as you all know, but I (nowadays ;-)) just go to street parades or my favourite pub, which is different from being squeezed together with thousands of other people in a few streets… In any case, I always breathe a sigh of relief when all our young people, who are now celebrating themselves, are safely back home after the wild days. Our reader Marie feels the same way.
Dear Marie, your children are 13 and 16, and Carnival is just around the corner in Cologne in February. What exactly are you worried about?
My concern is, for example, that someone will slip something into their drink without them noticing, that they will misjudge their alcohol consumption or that they will otherwise be unable to act as they normally would. And, of course, this topic also offers wonderful potential for conflict between the desire for autonomy on the one hand and the ‚desire to protect‘ on the other. Of course, it’s important to discuss these issues and to be able to tolerate disagreements… but it still stresses me out.
Have your children been out partying without you in recent years?
My almost 14-year-old daughter hasn’t really been out partying much yet. However, she has indirectly heard some stories about alcohol from others her age, which I took as an opportunity to talk to her about alcohol, etc.
Basically, I can tell that the topic of alcohol is becoming more and more interesting to her. My 16-year-old son went to Carnival for the first time last year. Everything went well, but I was still kind of glad when it was over. Not because I don’t like Carnival, but because I was always quite tense until he arrived home safely. I also heard from him that a friend had to go to the „emergency tent“ because she had drunk too much.
What would be your worst-case scenario?
That they get into situations where they lose control. Whether through alcohol, violence, etc.
How do you prepare your children for the wild days? What kind of education do you provide?
I talk about alcohol, the differences between beer, vodka, etc., and the effects, which are not immediate but tend to occur with a slight delay. I talk about the importance of drinking water and staying in a group and looking out for each other. I also talk about keeping an eye on drinks and distancing yourself if the mood changes. Don’t let shame or similar feelings prevent you from getting help.
What are the main points of discussion in the run-up to the event?
The biggest discussions are about the question „When do I have to be home?“ and the reluctance to commit to a specific time in advance.
What rules do you enforce for your teenagers during Carnival, and which ones are you willing to discuss?
I am actually willing to discuss the time they have to be home if their journey home is guaranteed, e.g. by picking them up. However, if there is no „transport service“, there is no room for negotiation when it comes to the time. Do you make arrangements? For example, by not going to the celebrations yourself so that you can drive out and pick them up at any time?
Last year, at least one of us parents was always ready to drive, just in case.
You probably talk to other parents: what do they think?
In addition to the fear of alcohol abuse, some are also concerned about violence in the form of fights, etc. For most, it’s important that the young people stay together in a group and are looked after. (Which is also a very important lesson to learn.)
Why do you still think it’s great that we have carnival here in Cologne? Or rather, what positive experiences do you want your children to have?
As a Cologne native, I just love dressing up and singing Cologne songs. And the atmosphere at Carnival is simply special.
I want my children to experience this great feeling of togetherness in the form of singing, celebrating and swaying together. And, of course, the fun of dressing up!
