Dear ones, we recently received a report from Caro, whose son has Asperger’s autism and developed severe tics due to ADHD medication. Hanna then contacted us, whose son had a completely different experience with ADHD medication. After years of struggling, he was finally able to concentrate and the whole family life relaxed noticeably. Hanna thought it was important to tell this side of the story too and we are delighted to hear such diverse perspectives on certain topics!
Dear Hanna, your eight-year-old child is currently on the ADHD medication Ritalin. Please take a step back in time. What kind of baby/toddler was your son?
My son has always been „different“. Even as a baby/toddler, he hardly slept during the day. He slept very well at night, but it always took him ages to fall asleep, around 90-120 minutes a day. Even today he falls asleep relatively late. He has always been a very energetic child and still is today. Thanks to sport, he now has a good balance.
When did the challenges with him start and how exactly did he behave?
In kindergarten, he was an outsider. Today I know that he was completely overstimulated. He never played, just sat in the corner and drummed his fingers. Everyone thought he was strange, which he naturally sensed.
At home, he threw tantrums like something from another planet. I have to say that the child’s father was unfortunately very overwhelmed with him and then became violent: He shouted at us all, intimidated us, kicked the cupboard next to the child so that there was a hole in it.
My ex is a narcissist – I know that today because I sought help and separated in order to protect my children (I still have a young son) and myself. I believe that the experiences with the father have had an extreme impact on the older one – I wish I had left earlier…
How long did it take for your son to be diagnosed?
My son was prescribed play therapy at the age of three due to the fact that he really never played. At that time, he could already count to 500 in German and English. He also knew all the letters and could read short words. Numbers and letters were the only things he was interested in.
Thanks to the play therapist, we then went to a child psychiatrist who carried out tests with my son over several months. He was 5 years old then. That’s still very early to diagnose ADHD, but she was already very, very sure. He then received the final diagnosis when he was 6 1/2 years old.
You told us that it was a disaster without Ritalin. How did ADHD affect your family life?
Before my son was put on Ritalin, he was like a powder keg. He had insane fits of rage and crying, knew no boundaries and had to push himself to the limit.
He was able to spend the last year of nursery in a preschool where he was closely supervised and could learn concentration exercises. The teachers at this preschool also advised us to try Ritalin because our son really couldn’t sit still for a minute. However, the child’s father was reluctant because the tablets have a bad reputation.
How was your son during this time?
He was often sad because he realised that he was different. All he wanted was to fit in, which fuelled his frustration and anger. He only had friends from pre-school because these children had a similar condition.
When and why did you decide to use medication?
In the 1st grade. I had already moved out with the children and we were finally starting to settle down. During a parent-teacher conference at school, the teacher told my ex-husband again very clearly that our son was very clever, but would never be able to make the most of his skills and knowledge because he was everywhere and nowhere with his head. And she asked him if he was aware that he was denying our son the chance to fulfil his potential. That’s when it clicked. We then started the medication in the second half of Year 1.
And how has your son changed? And your family life?
Our son is still very energetic and needs a lot of exercise. But that’s okay, sport helps his urge to move. He can concentrate at school and no longer gets distracted immediately (and immediately really means immediately). He is now in Year 3 and is one of the best pupils. I am very proud of him.
What would you like to say to those who think that Ritalin is just a way of keeping children quiet and that there should be other ways?
My child was never sedated at any time. I’m not a doctor, but if a child appears to be sedated, then in my opinion they are being given the wrong medication and/or the wrong dose.
Our son is responsive again and no longer just rolls around on the floor. He is no longer so easily distracted (of course it still happens sometimes, but that’s ok, he is a child after all). But he is himself, has lots of friends and is very popular. I’m really not a fan of medication, especially not when it comes to children having to take medication.
I really have tried everything: oils, games, mediation, bioresonance, energy mats, spagyric, homeopathy, children’s yoga, osteopathy, lithotherapy…….nothing helped. Incidentally, we also changed our diet a long time ago, with less sugar and lots of vegetables. And omega 3, but that alone didn’t help very much. It was only in combination with Ritalin that our son said of his own accord that he could now pay more attention at school.
And what advice can you give to parents who are faced with the decision of whether or not to give medication?
I would advise them to find a good paediatric psychiatrist and to be really open about their fears and worries. If our child had developed side effects from Ritalin, we would have stopped taking the tablets immediately. They don’t build up a level, so that would be absolutely possible.
But Ritalin enabled our child to be „normal“. He became so much happier and suddenly had friends. I also always spoke openly with him that if he didn’t want to take the tablet, it was ok. But he wanted to because he realised that he could sort his head out – that’s how he always described it himself. Good counselling, an appropriate diet and observing the child: Ritalin was the game changer for us, and I would at least try it again and again with the appropriate professional support – I owe it to my child to really try everything to help him.
