My Son Has ADHD, and Ritalin Is What Finally Helped

Hi, everyone. We recently shared Caro's story here. Her son is autistic (Asperger's) and developed severe tics from his ADHD medication. After that, Hanna got in touch. Her son has had a very different experience with ADHD medication. After years of struggle, he can finally concentrate, and life for the whole family has noticeably relaxed. Hanna thought it was important to tell this side of the story too, and we're glad to have such a range of perspectives on some of these topics!

Dear Hanna, your eight-year-old currently takes the ADHD medication Ritalin. Let's go back in time a bit. What kind of baby and toddler was your son?

My son has always been “different.” Even as a baby and toddler, he barely slept during the day. He slept very well at night, but falling asleep always took forever, around 90 to 120 minutes every single day. He still falls asleep fairly late today. He's always been a kid with tons of energy, and he still is. Thanks to sports, he's found a good outlet for it.

When did the challenges start, and how exactly did he behave?

At preschool, he was an outsider. Today I know he was completely overstimulated. He never played. He just sat in the corner drumming his fingers. Everyone thought he was strange, which of course he sensed.

At home, he had tantrums that seemed to come from another planet. I have to say that his father was completely overwhelmed by him and then became violent. He screamed at all of us, intimidated us, and kicked the cabinet right next to our son so hard that it left a hole.

My ex is a narcissist. I know that now, because I got help and left to protect my kids (I also have a younger son) and myself. I believe the experiences with his father shaped my older son enormously. I wish I had left sooner…

How long did it take until your son got a diagnosis?

Because he truly never played, my son was prescribed play therapy at just three years old. By then he could already count to 500, in German and in English. He also knew all the letters and could read short words. Numbers and letters were the only things he was interested in.

Thanks to the play therapist, we were referred to a child psychiatrist, who ran tests with my son over several months. He was 5 then. That's very early to diagnose ADHD, but she was already very, very sure. He got the final diagnosis at 6½.

You told us that without Ritalin, it was a disaster. How did ADHD affect your family life?

Before my son started Ritalin, he was like a powder keg. He had insane rage and crying fits, knew no limits, and had to push everything as far as it would go.

For his last year before elementary school, he was able to attend a preschool program where he got close, individual support and learned concentration exercises. The educators there also advised us to try Ritalin, because our son truly couldn't sit still for a minute. His father dug in his heels, though, because the pills have such a bad reputation.

How was your son doing during that time?

He was sad very often, because he could tell he was different. All he wanted was to belong, and that only fueled the frustration and, with it, the cycle of rage. His only friends were from that preschool program, because those kids had similar conditions.

When and why did you decide on medication?

In first grade. I had already moved out with the kids, and we were slowly, finally, finding some peace. At a parent-teacher conference, the teacher told my ex-husband once again, very clearly, that our son was very smart but would never be able to make full use of his abilities and knowledge, because his head was everywhere and nowhere. And she asked him whether he realized he was denying our son the chance to reach his potential. That's when it clicked. We started the medication in the second half of first grade.

And how did your son change? And your family life?

Our son still has a lot of energy and needs a lot of movement. But that's okay, because sports give him a great way to burn it off. He can concentrate at school and doesn't get distracted right away anymore (and right away really means right away). He's in third grade now and is one of the best students. I'm very proud of him.

What would you say to people who think Ritalin just sedates kids, and that there should be other ways?

My child was never sedated, not at any point. I'm not a doctor, but if a child seems sedated, then in my opinion he's on the wrong medication and/or the wrong dose.

Our son is responsive again. He's no longer just rolling around on the floor. He doesn't get distracted as easily (of course it still happens sometimes, but that's okay too, he's a kid, after all!). But he's present, he's himself, he has lots of friends, and he's very popular. I'm truly not a fan of medication, least of all when it's kids who have to take it.

I really tried everything: oils, games, meditation, bioresonance, energy mats, spagyrics, homeopathy, kids' yoga, osteopathy, lithotherapy…….nothing helped. We also changed his diet a long time ago. He eats very little sugar and lots of vegetables. And omega-3. But that alone didn't help much either. It was only in combination with Ritalin that our son said, on his own, that he could pay attention better at school now.

And what can you tell parents who are facing the decision of whether or not to give their child medication?

I'd advise finding a good child psychiatrist and really talking openly about your fears and worries. If our son had had side effects from Ritalin, we would have stopped the pills immediately. They don't build up in the body, so that would absolutely have been possible.

But Ritalin allowed our child to be “normal.” He became so much happier and suddenly had friends. I also always told him openly that if he didn't want to take the pill, that was okay. But he wanted to, because he noticed he could get his thoughts in order. That's how he always described it himself. Good guidance, a fitting diet, and watching your child closely: for us, Ritalin was the turning point. With the right professional support, I'd try it again in a heartbeat, or at the very least give it a shot. I owe it to my child to try everything to help him.