Cancer: Our Tanja died on her twins‘ 11th birthday

Dear ones, sometimes we receive news that changes everything. And so it was at the beginning of this week when we learnt that a dear blogger colleague had not survived cancer. I only knew her briefly because she also honoured us at Blogfamilia, but many others have become close friends of hers. One of them, Silke, has launched a fundraising campaign for Tanja’s family. And says goodbye to her soulmate with the loud laugh with this text…

Don’t be surprised about the lack of pictures of Tanja in this post, but Tanja didn’t like photos of herself and of course we want to respect that even after her death…

Farewell to twin mum Tanja

„There are people who touch you. My friend Tanja is one of those people. Tanja was such a person. What a terrible thing to write. Tanja is dead. That is so unbelievable!

I met Tanja for the first time on the internet. She wrote as a co-author on the blog „Chaoshoch2„. She wrote about her everyday life with her two Murmels (meaning her twins), about the challenges and wonderful little things. We wrote to each other on the internet. On Twitter. And I was fascinated by her cheerful, open attitude.

„Everyone who knew Tanja loved her laugh“

At a blogger event in Wuppertal, someone called my name out loud and laughed. Everyone who knew Tanja loved her laugh. So wholehearted, loud, raucous and endlessly infectious. She immediately took me by surprise with her direct manner and gave me a big hug. It was love.

Tanja became one of my closest friends. A kindred spirit. With such a big heart. And with an even bigger mouth. Her world was her Murmels. Her wonderful children. Her families, her children, her husband and her mum – they meant everything to her.

Tanja pitched in. And helped. Always.

But she was also always there for so many others. She exchanged ideas on Twitter. She had a keen sense for people who weren’t doing so well. She wrote direct messages, called. And was there. If someone wasn’t feeling well, she took care of them. Tanja lent a hand. And helped. Always. She loved loud music, sunshine and, above all, the sea.

There were always challenges for her. Too many losses. Her sister died far too young. Her father, her brother, her cousin. „Now it’s time to stop dying,“ she said. Last year, she was finally able to realise a dream. Two places of residence became one and the family was able to move in together.

Moving, remodelling, plans for the future

The children moved to a new school and the remodelling of an old house began. I visited her in late summer and she showed me the garden. Told me about the many things she had planned. „This room here is still under construction. But it’s going to be a kitchen-cum-living room with direct access to the outside.“ She had to take a break from renovating because she, the cautious one, fell ill with coronavirus. Then came pneumonia. At the beginning of the year, she felt so exhausted.

We made plans, now more than ever. Talked about travelling and parties. We wanted to finally dance together and feel the sea salt again. The sea was Tanja’s place of power. We spoke on the phone in February and she told us that her GP wanted to examine her for longer.

Six weeks ago, she was diagnosed with cancer

That was just under six weeks ago. And then it happened very quickly and at the same time there was this standstill. The diagnosis: cancer.

The first thing she thought about was her family. The children who were looking forward to her birthday. Her husband, the love of her life. Her mum, who had already had to bury three of her children. Tanja was confident.

„I know the elephant now. Now I’m fighting it, there’s a roadmap.“ She exchanged ideas. And quickly went to a specialist clinic. She received her first chemo treatment last Friday. She went into hospital on Thursday feeling confident.

Tanja died six weeks after her diagnosis

At the weekend, she was allowed to return home to her loved ones. She was still writing messages on Saturday. On Sunday, she felt worse. And then she had to go to hospital. Her body could take no more. The cancer was too aggressive and had sought out nasty places.

On 28 February, six weeks after her diagnosis, Tanja died.

On the 11th birthday of her twins, Tanja left this world

Mother, wife, daughter, friend. A big heart no longer beats. She left this world on her children’s 11th birthday of all days. „Will I see the sea again?“ she asked me in February. Now she only sees it from a different place. She is somewhere else – but not gone. Tanja has touched so many people so much.

Her children, her Murmels, lost their mum far too soon. The marble dad (whom she described as „the best thing that ever happened to me“) lost his wife. And her mum now has to bury her fourth child.

Donation campaign for Tanja’s family

How can we comprehend the incomprehensible? If someone could stop the world, it’s missing such an important piece! My heart, I will always love you.

As friends, we are so helpless. It doesn’t feel like there is anything that can comfort her family. We want to do a little bit to help at least make other worries smaller – and have therefore started a collection at Gofundme. If you would like to support Tanja’s family of marbles, please contribute and share the appeal.

„Now it’s far too soon too late …

You were a way of life
Anything but normal
You shone away all doubts with your big smile
…

Nobody has laughed so loudly
Nobody will ever be louder silent
Your silence fills the room
But your place always remains free

You had to leave early
But what touches, that remains“

(Lyrics „Konfetti“ by Enno Bunger)