Dear ones, there are so many exciting things happening in our children’s lives right now that I don’t really know where to start, the future lies ahead of them. Maybe it’s that I love being connected to so many people from my life via social media that I still appreciate from other phases of my life, for example people from the time when we were still living in Berlin and we founded a daycare centre with them.
One of the mums from back then has now posted that her son has received a sports scholarship in Canada and is now going abroad for three years. I remember how we were invited to a parent-teacher conference back then, shortly after the twins were born, because our „big one“ (then two-year-old) had bitten the same child. Now there’s a professional athlete in the photo and I can’t believe it.
It’s always so weird to see photos of „children“ that you don’t see for a long time and then think (and not say!): God, you’ve grown up. But well, our daughter is now 19, her friends and girlfriends are simply adults now… and they’re not the only ones growing up.
Last week, I went to the Citizens‘ Advice Bureau to apply for a driving licence with the twins. It was a little difficult to find an appointment in advance. I kept checking the website of the BĂ¼rgeramt, but there were never any appointments. I asked my group what was going on with our municipal administration and they said: „Yes, Lisa, they only open up new appointments on Wednesdays and Fridays. As some people know this, they are always booked immediately. But no problem, just go to the district town for the application.“ Done, done.
And you probably know afternoons like this. An hour before the appointment, you read everything you need. First aid course confirmation, printed out (where would we be if that were possible digitally, ha!). Eye test, printed out. Driving school routing slip, printed out. Copies of the parents‘ passports and driving licences, in paper form. Plus one application each for accompanied driving from 17. We don’t even have that.
So we quickly checked the driving school’s website: no application form to download anywhere. Finally called the driving school, um, could I come round NOW to pick them up? Yes, of course. So diversions, everyone in the car, quick, quick. No parking space in front of the school, so park on the roadside, then jump out of the car and run to the driving school. Mum, don’t run, super embarrassing.
From there to the next big town. Jump into the multi-storey car park, hop out and turn up at the citizens‘ office one minute before your appointment. Happy to have done everything, puuuuuh. And then: „Erm, you can’t apply here. You have to go to your home town. But we belong to the Rheinisch Bergisch district! But you’re not registered here. Gnaaaaah.
And this on the day after I had spent hours with one of the gentlemen in the emergency room the previous afternoon. The second afternoon of stress and no good results. I stomped the floor angrily for a moment. Asked the boys if we could at least have an ice cream now. „Nope.“ So back in the car. Flicked the switch.
Said: „Oh, boys, at least we’ve spent an afternoon together again, it doesn’t happen that often anymore. And the two of them celebrate me: „Mum, you’re just so great. Thank you for everything you do for us. We’ll just make another appointment now. We don’t have any stress.“ Boooooo, my hearts <3
As we drive home, we see that there are suddenly no parking signs down the hill in a bend that was barely visible due to the parked cars and was a real danger – especially for our boys with their 45cc car, which doesn’t accelerate like normal vehicles. „Mum, did you get that through with the group? You agreed to the motion, didn’t you?“
And yes, these are indeed the tiny little things that we can change in local politics. And isn’t it great when that becomes visible? „Next, make sure the appointments at the Citizens‘ Advice Bureau are better, yes, Mum đŸ˜‰?“ they laugh… and the afternoon turns out well after all. Then the daughter asks for cash for her university project trip to Asia and then there’s an internship promise for one of the twins from Berlin (let’s see if we can go to hotel or a holiday apartment… I definitely want to go).
The future is so open in front of you
And it’s all so exciting when the future is still so open to you and then I happen to speak to a friend who bought a horse at a similar time to me (different stable) and who is really in the „puerperium“ because she has the feeling that everyone is talking to her, because she wants to get to know herself first, because she doesn’t want to train with a hard hand and I tell her: „Listen to your feelings and do your thing, no matter what the others say.“
With my first child, they also told me I could only breastfeed every 4 hours, but my child was hungry every two hours. I was also advised to just let her cry it out in the evening, but instead I helped her to sleep for a decade. Or, as the older generation once said after the many arguments between the boys: „I would have been slapped in the face for that earlier“. Nope. Didn’t happen here, won’t happen here. We do things differently here.
I tell the new pony owner all this and that the kids thanked me in the afternoon for investing so much time in them, that they have „become something“, namely nice, appreciative people who no longer beat each other up all day, although there were never any „punishments“ or „a hard hand“.
And that in the end, it’s all about staying true to yourself, acting authentically and from your own convictions and not going against your own values. Not just with children, but with all living beings. „Let people talk, you know best what you and your protĂ©gĂ© need. Get the fun back and do it the way you think is right.“ „I needed that now,“ she said, and did her thing. The way she thought was right. And not the others, the supposed „professionals“, who only look through their own glasses. And that’s different from their own…
When did you have the confidence to stop being unsettled by outside comments and do your own thing? And do you also have the feeling that this bore fruit in the end, even though some may have thought that it would never „work out this way“?
