Dear ones, today is Christmas Eve and we’re celebrating with our extended family of four teenagers. As our big girl is working as a waitress on the morning of 24 December, we’ve decided without further ado to simply join her for a late breakfast in a cafĂ© for a little out-of-town Christmas feeling.
We’re not going anywhere, so we’ll treat ourselves to a few experiences outside our own four walls here and there to break out of the hamster wheel, at least for a little while. At lunchtime, we’ll probably have a snack at home and then go to church. It’s a tradition for us and, funnily enough, all the children go along without grumbling.
They understand very well that this is what the day is all about. We’re not a particularly ritualised family in general, but on Christmas Eve we are. We don’t always have the same food, we’ve even rolled our own sushi or made goose, but it’s always pretty similar in terms of the routine.
How we organise the day
In the morning, we do a little something, meet friends in a cafĂ© or go for a walk, treat ourselves to a soup for lunch, then go to church dressed up. Then it’s back to the farm, to my parents‘ flat, where biscuits, hot chocolate and coffee are waiting and we sing a few more Christmas carols.
What has changed over the years is mainly the boys‘ voices, which are getting darker and darker đŸ˜‰But we all continue to sing in this three-generation household. At some point, a little bell rings in the living room next door and the door, which had star stickers on it the day before and was locked, is suddenly open again. Then we all jump up excitedly from our chairs and practically walk over in a polonaise.
Christmas Eve with the extended family
Of course, the cutest thing is my niece, now 7 years old, who is still nervous and amazed. We marvel at all the lights, the decorated tree, all the little piles of presents in every corner, the table with the red velvet tablecloth. We then read the Christmas story under the tree while the dogs sniff out the first marzipan potatoes, toast with a glass of sparkling wine, wish each other a Merry Christmas and then it’s time for the presents.
The boys usually unwrap as quickly as they eat, while my daughter prefers to spread the unwrapping out over the whole evening and enjoy it. Only then do we move on to the big evening meal. This year, I asked the boys if they wanted to go out in the evening and they just looked at me with a frown and said, no, somehow this is family day for them.
Christmas in our own youth
With the big one, on the other hand, I can imagine her travelling to her boyfriend’s later. Or him coming over to our place. Just like the neighbours, by the way, who always join us for a few drinks after their own meal. Sometimes we play games, sometimes we try out presents, sometimes we just chat, sometimes there’s even dancing, but every now and then we’re so exhausted that we’re already yawning by half past nine.
In my own youth, my brother and I always went to a friend’s „children’s living room“ on Christmas Eve after dinner, where we celebrated Christmas with the gang and later often went to the E-Werk for the Father Christmas party. You see, our parents were also kind of liberal and made sure that everyone could have exactly the Christmas they wanted. Of course, I still think it’s nice that ours have said this time that they’re staying in and spending the evening at home and I can’t wait to see how it turns out this time.
Your questions about dealing with teenagers at Christmas
In the run-up to this text, I asked you what you were interested in about Christmas with teenagers and I think I’ve already answered some of the questions in the text, but there were a few more: How we handle presents for teenagers, what expectations there are, how we deal with teen disappointment, what is obligatory in terms of attendance, what they are really happy about, whether they are still allowed to go out in the evening, which traditions are kept and where are adapted.
As I said, they are allowed to go out, but they don’t want to this time. It’s rather easier with us when it comes to presents, there were youth trips and driving licences during the year, so everyone was quite modest about Christmas. One wanted almost nothing, but both siblings had some good ideas for little things, one only had two wishes, but they were rather expensive (including football boots), the other has just moved out, she mainly wants household items (including salad servers đŸ˜‰), for the guest child there are things that are missing (like a charging cable that fits into our sockets, mine is still in use and I’m always empty).
We were also disappointed with presents a few years ago, which is of course painful for everyone, but the only thing that helps is communication and explanation and exploring possibilities together to see how things could still work out. For us, the afternoon with church, singing, presents and dinner is mandatory. In the morning, they are now allowed to miss out on good arguments and in the late evening too.
As far as adapting the tradition is concerned, if they were to say, for example, that they urgently want to eat this and that, we would probably make it possible. Or if someone says that this time we won’t open the presents all at the same time, but one after the other. Also possible. But the rough concept is somehow set, because there are several generations involved.
We don’t expect any presents from the kids ourselves – but of course we’re happy if there’s a card or a letter or if they’ve thought of a little something. I think that’s it. If you have any other questions, please let us know in the comments, otherwise we just wish you a wonderful day with lots of love, food and good people.
Merry christmas everyone!
