Dear ones, Christmas is not that long away and you’re probably already thinking about how you’re going to spend the holidays. So is Julia, who today tells us about her dilemma…
I’m never good enough at Christmas…
„My name is Julia, I’ve been married for 3 years and we have a two-year-old son. My own parents are already dead, so my son only has grandparents from one side. And it’s exactly them, my parents-in-law, that we’re talking about.
My husband and I have very different backgrounds. My parents were labourers, we never had much money. I grew up in a tiny flat and was on my own a lot because my parents always worked – and unfortunately my father was often in the pub afterwards. As a child, I never went on holiday, to the theatre or the cinema. There was none of that.My parents weren’t able to support me at school, but thanks to a dedicated teacher, I made it to grammar school and then even went to university. I then met my husband through my job and quickly realised that he comes from a completely different family to me.
His parents are both academics. My husband grew up with two siblings in a loving, large house. His parents had and still have very clear ideas for their children – and let’s put it this way: I don’t really fit in with these ideas. From the very beginning, I sensed that they wanted something „better“ for their son. They were never rude to me, but they were definitely not cordial either. It is very clear to me that I am not the woman they wanted for their son.
My husband is a mega guy, he carries me on his hands and has often told me that he admires me for everything I’ve achieved and that he loves me. I’ve also talked to him about my feeling that his parents aren’t happy with me – he always disagrees and says he doesn’t believe it.
Now Christmas is coming up and my husband wants his parents to come to us on Christmas Eve. Our son also loves his grandparents very much and I also think it’s nice when a child has a good relationship with their grandparents. And yet the thought of it stresses me out. I already know that nothing I do will be good enough. The decorations, the food – the in-laws have a precise idea of how everything should be. And even if they don’t say it outright, I can see that my realisation isn’t enough.
Now I’m asking myself: should I go for it – but then perhaps be very sad because I feel I’m not enough all evening? Or do I uninvite the in-laws but deprive my husband and son of a wonderful experience? Especially as my husband probably wouldn’t understand… What would you do? I look forward to your feedback.
