Dear ones, sometimes we’re so hard on ourselves that it’s good to focus on what we’ve achieved – especially in the second half of life – rather than on what’s fading away, isn’t it? And that sounds much more esoteric than this new article from our little series with Nina MĂ¼ller-Peltzer (PCA® Psychological Coach), who you already know from the articles Back to the Self and Freedom Tastes Different at 45 than at 25. If you would like to know more about Nina or book her, please do so via her website, she is available in Berlin and remotely and is really great. Here comes her impulse
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My bathroom light is sometimes a cruel sadist. That line there, it wasn’t even there yesterday. And if I raise my brow? It stays there anyway.
In the past, I would have thought that was bad. Depending on where I am in my cycle, I still think it’s bad today. But when you look at it in the light, even in poor bathroom lighting, it really just means: I laughed, lived, got excited, marvelled, cried, suffered, loved and celebrated.
Many people call it wrinkles. For me, it’s a sign of my depth. It tells of my courage to have thrown myself into the waves of life – again and again. I’ve let myself in for love and risked being abandoned, I’ve let myself in for friendships and risked being wounded. I got involved in having and bearing children and knew it would be painful at the beginning, in the middle and at the end, namely whenever I had to let go – whether in labour or when the youngest left home.
I have fought for things and stood up for myself. I’ve given and taken, sometimes fate has kissed me, sometimes the hard left of life has hit me. I’ve been knocked down and got up again. Fuck crown judgement, I’m not a princess, I’m proud and humble, strong and weak, I’m beautiful and wrinkled, I’m versatile and profound.
2nd half of life: We are the first generation of independents
Then I look in the mirror at my deep wrinkles and realise: While previous generations associated ageing with withdrawal, we are currently experiencing something new: the first generation of women who are entering the second half of their lives with self-determination. For me, ageing is not a decline, but a consolidation of experience. I don’t want to retire, I want the world to have more of me, more of my insights, my experiences, my thoughts, my perspectives.
I belong to the first generation of independents. I have learnt for myself, I have looked after myself, I have built my own life, I have made my own mistakes, I have had my own learnings. I belong to the first generation of women who were truly masters of their own situation from the very beginning.
And I have no intention of letting my sadistic bath light take that away from me.
Yes, the body changes. Yes, hormones do what they want. But that’s exactly where the magic lies – it remains exciting and there are still plenty of surprises waiting for me.</p
And if I still struggle sometimes, these three little tricks help me.
Try it out for yourself:
Mini-Coaching:Â „Independent Woman“
Photo: pixabay
- Inventory of abundance:
I write down what I can do better today than when I was 30 and then I’m amazed at the long list. - Awareness exercise:
I look at a part of my body that I used to criticise (for me, this is definitely my feet) and then I thank it for supporting and carrying me so well for so long. - Self-Talk:
I imagine myself receiving the Life-Time Achievement Award and giving an acceptance speech in which I emphasise my greatest achievements and best performances. Then I have to laugh and enjoy my new laugh line, it gives me depth and dignity.</li
How are you doing now And how do you deal with bad bathroom light and deep wrinkles? Is your skin still annoying you or are you already enjoying your independence? What other topics are on your mind, share them with us and we’ll pick them up in the next coaching impulses.
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