Dear readers, Wednesday is Teen Time Day, and today we’re going to talk about humour in Teen Time, because sometimes it can be essential for survival. That’s why we’ve treated ourselves to an interview with an expert in this particular case: With Matthias Jung, „Germany’s funniest youth expert“ and author of the Spiegel bestseller „Chill mal“ (Chill out).
If you want to see him live, get your tickets quickly. For example, he will be at the Haus der Familie Wipperfürth with a programme especially for fathers (but which is also very funny and informative for mothers). If you live too far away or can’t make it there, feel free to check out his other performances on his website.
Dear Matthias, you are the father of a growing child and you say: „At the end of your patience, there’s still a lot of puberty left.“ What are the biggest challenges in your home right now?
At the moment, it’s difficult to get the boy out of his room. He has withdrawn and is having a so-called „rendezvous with himself.“ He is cutting the cord and getting to know himself. That’s how it has to be. I think he’ll come out again by the time he’s 18.
When you think back to your own puberty, what was different and what was similar?
I used to love arguing loudly with my mother. The educational tip „don’t take it personally“ is correct, but also extremely difficult and requires a lot of practice. And I also believe that you still need the breathing exercises from the antenatal classes ten years later. I’ve heard of midwives who came back after the 600th week.
In which areas of your life are you still the rebellious boy you were back then?
Well, I have a rebellious job that is not very common and is also very colourful. I write books, give lectures that are very humorous, consult from time to time and give workshops. You’re your own boss. Independent and constantly busy, but it’s a lot of fun.
How do you manage to humorously convince your „chill out“ child to take out the rubbish or tidy their room?
With teenagers, a lot of things work on demand. I would hand my teenager the rubbish bag in the morning just before school. Then his mind is already elsewhere, he has no time to complain, and at school he says, „Oh crap, I still have the rubbish bag!“
Now, many of you reading this have children who really don’t want to go to school and lack motivation… what can you do?
I’ve noticed that it’s always our teenagers who decide when they want to start doing more for school again – not us. This often only happens in Year 10, because they realise they need certain grades to get into university. In theory, this realisation doesn’t come at all, because school isn’t for them. It’s compulsory education. They have to go. We can choose our work. We should focus more on ourselves, hand over responsibility and still offer help. But at some point, the initiative lies with the teenager.
How do you respond to the statement „But everyone else is allowed to do it“?
I would say: Then let’s call the parents of the others. 🙂
How do you keep your sense of humour when things really hit the fan?
Well, my book „Chill mal“ was written before my son reached puberty. When things get tough, I reread a few things and think, so many parents have read this. What it says must be true… and that reassures me.
Besides, I know he doesn’t do anything against me. He still loves me, even if it doesn’t always feel that way. He’s just slowly looking in the other direction and going his own way. It’s not easy for us parents to let go.
What do you think is the biggest challenge for parents of teenagers? The media?
The media is indeed always a very popular topic. It’s important to me that this topic isn’t only viewed negatively. Of course, discussions about screen time are often necessary, but you should still try to stay connected in a positive way. You can do this by showing interest, asking about trends and being happy when your teenager shows you a video. Even if it’s not often to our taste. Nevertheless, it’s good. Because then a relationship of trust has been established.
How do you remain a couple despite the madness at home? Do you ever disagree about parenting?
Absolutely, because everyday life with children is often stressful. It’s important not to lose sight of each other as a couple, but to go on dates every now and then. And that’s the nice thing about puberty, that it’s becoming more and more possible again.
But my wife was once so angry that she let me be elected parent representative at the parents‘ evening. That’s grounds for divorce 🙂
On 6 March, you’re giving a talk called „Chill out, Dad“. What exactly makes a father’s perspective on puberty so special?
Many mothers come up to me after my lecture and say that it would have been nice if their husbands had seen it too. This is also important because fathers often struggle to cope with the changes our teenagers go through.
They don’t know what’s going on. They often acquire less knowledge than mothers and sometimes think in general terms: „We’ve done everything wrong in raising them. Look how he or she is behaving right now!“ But there are so many other things involved, and we’ll go through them that evening. Of course, it will be very humorous… and there will definitely be a beer or two. We’re always on the safe side there. Because the word „puberty“ contains the English word „pub“…
